http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/ Random Acts of Commentary on film, the arts, sports, cheese, life etc. en-us Sat, 10 May 2008 15:31:35 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343152/Request_for_Reader_Feedback FOCUS GROUP OF THE DAY: OK, gang. I have two versions of the previously referenced Uncle Sam Obama commercial to show you and I'm looking for feedback. They can be viewed at the link below. Visually, the edits are pretty similar (although there are a few differences). The big difference is the music. One piece keeps the communication sort of light and comedic. The other adds emotional weight--and turns it into a very different kind of experience. That piece of music has graphic language that would, of course, prevent it from airing on broadcast television. Don't worry about that--as my intention right now is just to upload the spot to Youtube. I'd really appreciate it if you'd indicate which version you prefer in the comments section below or, if you are reluctant to share your opinions on the blog, by sending me an e-mail at tcohn725@aol.com. Finally, I want to thank those of you who submitted musical suggestions--many of which had real merit and appeal but, at least in our brief experimentation with them in the edit room, didn't seem to work as well as the ones we selected. Anyhow, eager to see what you guys think. Www.breatheediting.net:8000 Username: ted Password: ted Sat, 10 May 2008 15:31:35 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343150/McGovern_Walken_Gift_Horses_Hidden_Gifts__Memories_Death_UrinalsThe_Usual FILE IT UNDER "UH, NO": ITEM OF THE DAY: SIOUX FALLS, S.D. - Former Sen. George McGovern, who backed Hillary Rodham Clinton, is urging her to drop out of the Democratic presidential race. McGovern said Wednesday he has decided to endorse Barack Obama. After watching the returns from the North Carolina and Indiana primaries Tuesday night, McGovern says it's virtually impossible for Clinton to win the nomination. McGovern says he is calling former President Clinton to tell him of the decision AND ADDS THAT HE REMAINS CLOSE FRIENDS WITH THE CLINTONS. (Caps Mine). LFAQs of the DAY: Where will they find McGovern's body? What will the Clintons' alibi be? Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to lend yourself $6.4 Million? When did Hillary become Bush? When did she become the cocksure, unapologetic, belligerent, reality-denying, debt-financed blue collar millionaire candidate you want to have a beer with? Will Hillary stay in the Presidential race straight through the next administration? If Hillary forces herself upon Obama as VP (as rumor has it she intends to) , how many extra body guards will he have to hire in the White House? Was it all downhill since I left or did the party just get started? On the occasion of Israel’s 60th birthday: Who is aging more gracefully: Israel or Bill Clinton? How do you act like Christopher Walken without sounding like Christopher Walken? Is there an opposite of Schadenfreude? And if so, is it empathy, jealousy or something else? I saw a commercial that said "We don;t make comrpomises. We make Saabs." Then I saw one that said "We don't make compromises. We make Marines." So, are Marines Saabs? And if not, should the Marines' tagline be changed to "We don't make compromises. Or, for that matter, very original commercials" Could an invisible car still run you over? ONION-ESQUE (SHALLOT LIKE) HEADLINE OF THE DAY THAT UNFORTUNATELY TURNED OUT TO BE REAL: Bush predicts the economy is going to 'come on' http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080503/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush CURIOUS LINGUISTIC OBSERVATION OF THE DAY: Open is an anagram for Nope. PROPOSED BAND NAME OF THE DAY: Thumb and Mouse RANDOM PROPOSAL OF THE DAY: The expression "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" evidently derives from a time when horses were often given as gifts and it was considered rude to check the horse's teeth to see how old it was. (Teeth being a reliable indicator of equine age as they continue to grow over the horse's lifespan. Hence the expression, "Long in the tooth." ) My random proposal: Temporarily replace the phrase "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" with "Never look a gift uncle in the prostate." MOTTO OF THE DAY: (Which I can't remember if I'm repeating). It never hurts to say "thank you" unless, of course, you have a broken jaw. AWKWARD MOMENT OF THE DAY: Went to see the Chris Rock at MSG this weekend with a friend. Before hand, we had dinner across from the Garden at a nice little bar/restaurant. After dinner, my friend went into the Men's room to pee. About a minute later, I decided I needed to pee as well. When I arrived, he was just finishing up washing his hands. I assumed my position at the urinal, and said "I'm psyched. This is gonna be fun." (referring, of course, to the concert.) As I said it, I turned to notice that my friend had already left the men's room and another guy had just entered--to the curious spectacle of a man standing at a urinal alone saying to no one in particular "I'm psyched. This is gonna be fun!" CONFESSION OF THE DAY: Not sure if I mentioned this before, but excuse the repetition if I did. Anyhow, of the grab bag of talents I've been given in this life, one of the most impressive is one i'm not very proud of--and one which stands in some dissonance with my sense of myself as a self-respecting heterosexual male: It's my ability to pick clothing for women. Yup. There it is. I'm a "Color Me Beautiful" kind of a guy. I can instantly tell what colors and styles will look good on a given woman and have often (to my partial emasculation) been asked to provide these services for shopping women friends. Then, of course, I always do something compensatorily (alert: made up word). macho like eat 10 hot dogs in 5 minutes or attempt to burp the entire alphabet. POIGNANTLY IRONIC QUOTE AND ATTRIBUTION OF THE DAY: "People Never Die Until They Are Forgotten" – Unknown Which is to say: "People Never Die Until They Are Forgotten" – Forgotten and hence Dead Person THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Death, like God, while ultimately nameless and faceless, wears a different name and face all the time. SKETCH IDEA OF THE DAY: A guy who is powerless to control his impulse to do a bad impression of Christopher Walken. He is apologizing to his wife for falling back into this behavior that he knows she hates. He explains that he simply can't help himself. He can't stop doing it ever since he saw a repeat of the SNL episode that Christopher Walken hosted. He delivers his apology in his bad Christopher Walken voice and--and here's the kicker--he delivers it as if reading off cue cards (as Walken did throughout that otherwise stellar SNL episode.) He tells her about the support he's getting though his visits to the 12 step program Imitators Anonymous. And he promises to call his sponsor. ( "A lovely guy with an Al Pacino problem." Just terrible. Poor guy can't stop yelling "Hua.") Hijinx ensues. OBSERVANCE OF THE DAY: May 6. Childhood idol Willie Mays' birthday and the day my parents told me they were getting a divorce, a million years ago. I wrote about it last year, at the end of the post below. http://teddyvegas.blogspot.com/2007/05/greetings-from-sunny-teddy-santa-monica.html To save you a click, I'll copy and paste the relevant section: May 6. Today is the 35th anniversary of the day my parents told me they were getting divorced. I was 11. It was a pretty world-shattering event for me--at the cusp of adolescence and all. I remember the date for that reason and for the fact that it was the birthday of my favorite baseball player and childhood idol Willie Mays. What do I remember from that day? Tossing a baseball with my brother in front of my house as my dad came home after his walk from the train station. We were excited that he would be coming home soon and hoping that he'd join us in the game of catch. He made a few perfunctory throws and catches and then went inside. Then my mother and father called me and my brother inside. We were a bit late in responding and they brusquely repeated the order to end our game and join them. They sat us down on the couch in the living room and my mother was on one chair and my father on another--a little farther away. We were a bit surly--bracing for some kind of lecture about disobeying our parents or something. I remember noticing that my father was wearing sunglasses inside--which struck me as odd. But not odd enough to change my assumption that we were going to get yelled at for something. Then my mother said "Your father and I are going to get separated." Like for good? Possibly. Suddenly there was crying and screaming and I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room. My mother followed me but I locked her out of my room. My father started sobbing and screaming upstairs "I told you we shouldn't have told them." Then he came upstairs and told me that he still loved me and would always love me. And I could smell his grown-up breath. Then later, my mother started singing "We Shall Overcome." on her autoharp and tried to get us to join her. My father's birthday is March 8 and my mother's is May 19 and I remember thinking that it was somehow unfair to my mother that she'd already bought my father his birthday present for the year and now wouldn't be getting one from him. My god: I was really a child once. In my parents' house. 35 years ago. Amazing. --- Particularly poignant for me this year, now that this primal memory of parental separation has been colored by the final separation of parental death. RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: His main goal in life was to have his efforts and contributions entirely unreflected in the Gross National Product. Thu, 08 May 2008 15:46:56 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343132/Following_Philip_Roth_and_a_shoe_called_Narrative NARRATIVE OF THE DAY: Following Philip Roth. So I am walking north on Columbus, thinking about the pair of shoes—a pair of really, really nice shoes-- I have just seen in a store with the model name "Narrative." I am thinking: "Note to Self for Blog. Object of Desire of the Day: A shoe called Narrative. Maybe elaborate that into some little narrative about the death (or at least declining prestige) of narrative. And maybe an LFAQ: Would I desire the shoes quite as much if they did not sport a name with such theoretical cachet--knowing my predeliction for possessing ideas or concepts rather than objects. (Hence my collection of random domain names.)?" So, in any event, I'm walking up Columbus, thinking about a shoe called Narrative, when who do I see pass but that Professor of Desire and narrative himself, Philip Roth. Yup. Philip Freaking Roth. Plain as day--sporting a navy blue blazer and grey pants and walking sort of stiffly, his arms hanging, it seems, ever so slightly asymmetrically--the right one a bit lower than the left. Needless, to say, I immediately stop my reflections about a shoe called Narrative and turn around to follow in the famous narrator's footsteps. He turns off of Columbus ("Goodbye, Columbus", I think to myself) and onto 72nd St. No one else seems to recognize him--ah blessed anonymity (or at least discretion) of NY--so much so that I am momentarily concerned that I have stumbled upon a mere lookalike. An accountant doppelganger. My doubts are put to rest when a husky red haired man sporting multiple Tip Top Shoe bags and some dry cleaning effusively accosts him. The man, looking like a cross between Michael Moore and Drew Carey and sounding a bit like the chubby guy in Superbad, thanks him "for everything...for everything" and tells him some story I can't make out about a friend who writes for the New Yorker that must in some way be a propos. Phillip Roth thanks him--looking genuinely interested and appreciative. When he bids adieu and is about to pass me (I have been standing still, slightly past them on the street, watching the exchange), it is all I can do to repress my impulse to say "I am the real Coleman Silk” and I end up offering a simple "High regards" --a pithy statement of appreciation for which he seems again genuinely appreciative. (As much, I suspect, for the brevity as for the sentiment.) But where is he going, I wonder? And don't I owe it to myself or at least to my blog to find out? After all--this is NEWS! This is the kind of thing that can get me big hits when people Google "Philip Roth New York City" –so long as I remember to mention it in my posting title! This is what I’ve learned from the Tonto Kowalski episode. So I continue to follow him --at discreet private eye distance--west on 72nd St. where, again totally unrecognized, he peeks with a sort of brusque, peckish interest at the Shining Star Deli, Tip Top Shoes, Flix Video and a few other neighborhood establishments. Philip Roth turns north on Amsterdam and, half way up the block, I hit a crisis point in my narrative. There, I see evidence that the long awaited event has arrived: A Chipotle Grill has opened in my hood. I am thrilled to make this discovery –but am suddenly being forced to choose between my identity as vigilant investor and irrepressible brand enthusiast and my identity as committed blogger and literary stalker. O cruelty of such abundance! Ultimately, I figure the Philip Roth thing has a bit more urgency and color to it (indeed, makes a better narrative if not a better burrito) and I resolve to return to the Chipotle later—to welcome them to the 10023 and ask about the briskness of business. Meanwhile, the famous writer strides on. As I follow the creator of Portnoy, Zuckerman and the Swede north on Amsterdam (and it does strike me that all of those characters and their memorably articulated worlds sprang from within the half naked cranium a few paces in front of me), I begin to wonder more about his ultimate destination. Is he on his way to lunch? To get a bunion removed? To a mid-day assignation? Then, with regard to this last conjecture, I think: Did he really suffer impotence as a result of a prostate surgery operation or was that just the character that he wrote about in The Human Stain or American Pastoral or whichever one it was? As I watch him peer, improbably, into the Candle Bar (a local gay establishment) and, less improbably, into the Chirping Chicken, I also begin to wonder if, curiosity-deficient as I am, there is any other famous male I’d be interested in following for more than a block? Maybe a few sports stars (Steve Nash, Pedro, Roger Federer and John McEnroe come to mind) just to size them up and see if I could take them. :) But in the non-sports realm, I’m coming up empty. Let me leap ahead to say that, in the course of the entire walk and the subsequent 2 days since, I was only able to come up with Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen for sure and Jean-Luc Godard and Don Delillo for maybe. The list of women, needless to say, would be substantially longer --beginning with, and in no way restricted to, Charlize Theron, Natalie Portman and Jennifer Connely. Of course, the list of lovelies for whom I’d be (STALKER ALERT STALKER ALERT) willing to go a block or two out of my way is in no way restricted to celebrities. But I digress (and, yes, stalk). Anyhow, back to the narrative present and, as it were, my original digression/stalking. I am following the scrivening septuagenarian and finding myself impressed by his vigor. Indeed, though I seem to remember that he’s had some major health problems in the last few years, the old literary lion is walking at a rather healthy clip and, in truth—and to my embarrassment—I am actually finding myself getting a bit winded trying to keep up with him. (Would he still be so spry if he were wearing a shoe called Narrative instead of his Merrills?) As we reach W. 77th St. on this lovely Saturday afternoon, I see some kippa-clad orthodox Jews out on the street doing startled double takes. (Which reminds me for a moment—a bit incongruously-- of the old holocaust survivors in Marathon Man recognizing the Nazi torturer played by Laurence Olivier as he walked through the diamond district). One man, pushing a baby carriage with his wife, leaves her to run ahead of the great writer then suddenly stops and, casting all tact to the wind, turns around to gawk. Then he allows the writer to pass and, safely gathered in his wake (and in my way), emphatically whispers and points with his wife and friends. This pantomime of passing and peering then falling behind to whisper, gawk and point repeats a few times until it hits me that this is truly "Sabbath's Theater." For a moment, I start to worry that this little walk of indeterminate length and uncertain destination will end up providing dramatizations of every title in his oeuvre. Oy. I hope my legs can hold out. Phillip Roth turns east on 79th shadowed by Teddy Vegas and an ever growing caravan of gawking yids. I start wondering: Is he aware that he is being followed by a strange bearded guy…and, if so, what story is he telling himself about me? I am reflecting on the strange ghostly relationship between a writer and his “life," on the curious phenomenon of being winded chasing a 74 year old and on the fact that we are about to hit Columbus Avenue again (“Hello Columbus”) when the object of my interest suddenly and unceremoniously gives me the slip--disappearing into the Austin apartment building and resuming his status as a textual rather than a physical presence in my life. "Exit Ghost." LFAQs of THE DAY: Has any all time great athlete aside from OJ ever suffered a greater post-career loss of prestige than Isiah? What famous person would you most like to discreetly stalk for a few blocks? Would I get more hits if I had entitled the posting "Phillip Roth's Address in NYC?" Would I have sullied my bloggeristic dignity by so doing? Who knew you had to tip the bathroom attendant at Fiddlesticks? (Apropos of the Obama Elitism charges): Haven't we confused competency with elitism? Or have we actually started to confuse sentience with elitism? OLFACTORY OBSERVATION OF THE DAY: The Time Warner AOL center. It smells like the fancy hotels in Vegas. And the malls in Miami. And the airports in the Caribbean. It’s the universal perfume of buying. The scent of consumption CULTURAL CRITIQUE OF THE DAY: Cupcakes are the new yuppie art form. What we have chosen to do with our unprecedented surplus of capital and possibility? Make sugary, buttery treats. CELEBRITY TRIANGULATION OF THE DAY: Richard Jenkins (The Father in Six Feet under) in the new movie "The Visitor:" Bob Newhart, Rudy Guiliani David Boise. DRUNKEN QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: “I want to have a threeway with you and those 4.” DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY: (In Re: My friend's real estate agency). La Cage Aux Folles meets Glengarry Glenross. AMUSING OBSERVATION OF THE DAY: In the credits to the aforementioned film ("The Visitor"), I was struck by the fact that the role of Sprinkles the Dog was played by Walter the Dog. RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: Listening to her talk is like being in a car with someone who is trying to learn to use a stick shift. Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:29:44 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343129/From_Tonto_Kowalski_to_Red_Bull_Hebrewski_and_Beyond POLITICAL COMMENTS: Well, the Pennsylvania Primary went pretty much exactly as everyone expected it would. Neither changing nor resolving anything and simply extending the agony. It did, unfortunately, help remind people of the unfortunate recalcitrance of the race issue. In exit polls, 13% of Pennsylvania voters acknowledged that race was a factor in determining who got their vote--with 75% of those 13% voting for Hillary. If 13% openly admit that race was a factor, one can only assume--given the stigma of such an admission--that the true percentage for whom it figured prominently is much higher. Assuming he wins the nomination (which remains the only reasonable assumption), Democrats will ultimately be reduced to hoping that ageism trumps racism as a factor influencing voters. Which is all pretty sad and sordid considering this is a campaign based on hope, unity and the common concerns that transcend our differences. It seems like while the rhetoric will remian, "we are not red states and blue states, we are the United States of America", the underlying political reality will be "we are not red states and blue states, but the racially, chronologically, demographically, ethnically, economically and sexually stratified and separate voting blocks of America." At the end of the Day, I sort of get a kick out of Hillary's irrepressible cheesiness. GOAL OF THIS EARTH DAY: To decrease my carbon footprint but increase my jargon footprint. LFAQs: Has any creature ever lost more status through an act of renaming than the mystical ancient Egyptian scarab who is now known as the dung beatle? Is Chipotle the only company in the world to begin its earnings report with a reference to Michael Pollan's book "In Defense of Food?" Is Hillary using Bin Laden's image in scare tactic negative ads against Obama even more objectionable than the Republicans doing so? Will she "slip" at least once and refer to him as Osama before conceding the nomination? Or will it be during her concession speech? Why has George W. Bush appeared on "Deal or No Deal?" more often than he has on Meet the Press or Charlie Rose? (Bad question: Answer too obvious.) Better question: Was the prestige and dignity of the Presidency sullied by George W. Bush's appearance on "Deal or No Deal?" or was the prestige and dignity of "Deal or No Deal?" sullied by the appearance of George W. Bush? (Sorry, again, bad question: Answer too obvious.) When Obama finally gets the nomination and Hillary makes the obligatory offer to campaign for him and Obama makes the obligatory acceptance of her offer, will she try to subtly undermine his campaign in the interests of making another run in 2012? MEDIA MOMENT (AND EXPLANATORY FOOTNOTE) OF THE NIGHT: Charles and Kenny in the post game show saying that Çharles was changing his name to Tonto Kowalski and both giggling like schoolboys to the mystification of Ernie and, I suspect, most of the TNT audience. Well, if you are among the mystified, let Teddy V. break down the puerile proceedings for you. You see, chuckling Charles must have just been told the old joke about a man sitting next to an attractive woman on a plane who turns out to be an expert on human sexuality. She claims that in her years of research she has discovered that the most sensitive and attentive lovers are the native Americans but the best endowed are the Polish. Then she says, "By the way, my name is Sara. What's yours? "Tonto," the man replies. "Tonto Kowalski." NEW ALIAS FOR MYSELF IN HONOR OF TONTO KOWLAKSI: Red Bull Jewski. OTHER ALIASES INSPIRED BY TONTO KOWALAKSI: Tecumseh Kaminski Pontiac Grotowski Crazy Horse Walesa Sitting Bull Milosz Ronkonkoma Hebrewski CONCEPT OF THE DAY: The feckless stalker. He is so erratic, inefficient and downright inept at his craft that he only manages to see his stalkee once every few years--usually at a class reunion. Or maybe it's just the slacker stalker--with absolutely no work ethic or commitment to his chosen pursuit. RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: He kept confusing his fake arrogance with his fake humility. TRIBUTE OF THE DAY: To J.--In Memoriam. Another light has been put out in the imaginary sky. We raise a glass of champagne in your memory. May you rest in peace. Fri, 25 Apr 2008 17:29:26 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343124/The_Pope_Passover_Cornell_West_Etc POLITICAL COMMENT OF THE DAY: (A propos of all the "bitterness" and "elitism" charges, the inane questioning and the political posturing at the Democratic debate.) The candidates' outrage is totally manufactured but the media's fatuousness and the pundits' cluelessness seem totally sincere. PASSOVER REFLECTION OF THE DAY: I detect among my Jewish friends a subtle sense of enslavement to the ritual that commemorates their emancipation from slavery. TECHNOLOGICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY: What was most impressive about his screenplay was that he was able to write something so creative on a Dell and not a Mac. COMMMENT ON RELIGION OF THE DAY: (Prompted by the visit of the Pope and with all apologies to my religiously observant readers--whose practices and relationship to religious authority I suspect I would have no problem with.) I have nothing against religious leaders. But I do have a problem with religious followers. SENTENCE OF THE DAY: If i didn't know any better i'd think you were trying to give me a heteronormative look. CONFESSION OF THE DAY: I just woke up this morning with an urge to use the word "heteronormative." (Yesterday, it was "apodictic.") SPECTACLE OF THE DAY: People on the Bill Maher show looking at Cornell West like the people in the crowd look at the Improv Everywhere performances I talked about the other day---their expectations undermined...their faces reflecting bafflement, shock, amusement, appreciation etc...Improv Everywhere should do a segment called Cornell West Everywhere where they just film the faces of the people who are listening to him talk. LFAQs of THE DAY: Is Tiger Woods' knee surgery just a ploy to get golf some cred as a sport? Can you be precociously decrepit? Who is the world's oldest prodigy? Is there anything sadder than a guy who lies about winning his fantasy league and who wears his invisible fraudulent crown pretending to be the champ? Wait...did you think that that was a confession?!?!? DIALOGUE ON FANTASY HOOPS: GUY 1: Congrats on winning the championship. GUY 2: Thanks. I'm ashamed to admit I'm actually feeling pretty proud of myself. But I'll miss it. Fantasy hoops is a very pleasurable time waster. GUY 1: Seriously, my life would be so much emptier and productive without fantasy everything. GUY 2: Yeah, it's like election night every night. You just go home all excited and wait for the results to start coming in. I mean, I spent many nights just jumping from electronic boxscore to electronic boxscore...watching my guys' stats accumulate. GUY 1: I live for the day game and the refresh button. GUY 2: Brilliantly put. I forced myself--against all inclination--not to do fantasy baseball too. Because I knew it would be the end of every human relationship and every productive pursuit in my life. And you know what: I kind of regret it. :) GUY 1: i joined 2 leagues just to burn the bridge of humanity. GUY 2: I am so jealous. I admire your commitment to solipsism. And ironically …I'm the one who feels like, the big loser. OXYMORONIC TAPE LOOP FROM HELL OF THE DAY: Your call is very important…please hold for prompt assistance. STYLE OF THE DAY: Dignified yet ho-ish. PEEVE OF THE DAY: The Pope's benediction at Yankee stadium pre-empting the Denver-Lakers playoff game. Why should someone else's religion upstage my own? RANDOM TRIAD OF THE DAY: The white rat, knitting and immortal sadness GUEST CONTRIBUTION OF THE DAY: Seder notes from correspondent at Large Loren Parkins. 73 people, allegeldy all members of my family, gathered at the Westmorland Country Club ( exclusiv for Jews) for the first night of Passover. It was a bit of a circus! However great to see my many first cousins, my one remaining Aunt (Aunt Sally, the youngest of the 10 Neplotnik brothers and sisters that made it to this country, only leaving 2 brothers behind because they were in Military service (uncle Yasha.& uncle Ytsaak. Unles Harry David Leo Maurice Arthur aunts Judy Goldie and the only remaining live aunt or uncle first generation is Aunt Sally. Of those ten they then had 2 or 3 kids whom make up my roster of first cousins. I almost got cought up with all of their names when they started having kids. Now I feel like Ilm at a jewish mixer trying to fake my way in a conversation with some one who appears to know who I am. MANDITORY READING OF THE DAY: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/20/magazine/20wwln-lede-t.html?em&ex=1208923200&en=76d14e551d4461fb&ei=5087 Michael Pollan's article in the Green issue of the New York Times Sunday Magazine. NOTE TO SELF OF THE DAY: Write an elegy for the long saved, inadvertently erased voicemail messages. And a blurb about Denis Johnson's "Tree of Smoke." And maybe also about "My kid could Paint That" and/or "In Bruges." And set up the damn computer you bought six months ago. And, wait...there was some other thing. Oh yeah. Figure out what you want to do with your life. MEDITATION ON TIME AND LOSS OF THE DAY: Strange to have played a leading role in what will have turned out to have been her pre-history--the time not recorded in the official record--the story before the story of her life began. RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: He could use some Flomax cause he got no flow. Mon, 21 Apr 2008 22:06:27 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343114/Jack_Johnson_Monte_Hall_Achilles_Thumbs_Improv_Everywhere_Etc_New_and_Nutritionally_Enhanced CELEBRITY RESEMBLANCE TRIANGULATION OF THE DAY: (Back after long absence and not exactly by popular demand.) Subject: Jack Johnson. And the vertices of this similitude scalene are: OJ Simpson Jeremy Piven Val Kilmer (the eyes!!). SIGN OF END TIMES OF THE DAY: There was no line at Trader Joe’s THOUGHT EXPERIMENT OF THE DAY: Imagine a dog or a kid in New York City named Honk. Actually not the word "Honk" but the unspellable sound of a honk. MORE INTERESTING THOUGHT EXPERIMENT OF THE DAY: OK, so Monte Hall says you can pick door number 1, 2 or 3. There's a goat behind two of the doors and a new car behind the third. You pick a door and then he opens one of the two doors you did not select to reveal a goat standing behind it. Now he asks you: Would you like to swap the door you've selected for the remaining door. Every fiber in your being will insist that there is no benefit to swapping the door you've chosen for the one you're now being offered. That the revelation that a third door was not the winning door should have no possible impact on the relative likelihoods of either of the two remaining doors being right or wrong. And yet, in flagrant defiance of both one's intuition and one's sense of logic, it turns out that it is in fact in your interest to swap your selection for the other door. This is called the Monte Hall problem and it is a famous--and famously maddening-- probability problem. OBSERVATIONS OF THE DAY: a) There is always a last time for everything.—although we are rarely blessed or cursed with knowing when it is happening. b) Dried plums taste an awful lot like prunes. ENTERTAINING MEDICALLY RELATED ACTIVITIES OF THE DAY: a) Proposed Social Event: Blood pressure party. (Where everyone gets their blood pressure taken and then does various things to see if they can make it go up or down.) b) New signature gesture. Leaving Lipitors out on your desk like jelly beans in case anyone wants one. QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I wish every day was Wednesday." --d.b. PROVOCATIVE MAGAZINE COVER OF THE DAY: (On this month's Atlantic Monthly) Is Israel Finished? DANGLING CLAUSE OF THE DAY: And I say that with full respect for your thwarted heterosexuality. SUCKY NEWS OF THE DAY: I've rebroken my thumb in the exact same place as last time. On a nearly identical play. Strange to say, but my Achilles Heel is my thumb. ALMOST COMPENSATORILY GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY: I ended up getting the steal on that final play and our team won the game. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THE DAY: That if this post were a meal, it would be mostly condiments and dessert and lamentably little protein or vegetable. COOLEST THING EVER OF THE DAY: 50 people spontaneously freeze for 5 minutes during rush hour in Grand Central Station--and then resume their activities as if nothing had happened. It's not just an interesting thought experiment. It's the work of Improv Everywhere (go to youtube.com and do a search for them)--a public performance art collective. Their carefully conceived and expertly executed interruptions of the ordinary are really inspired--ranging from 80 men and women showing up at a Best Buy in blue shits and khakis (the store worker uniform) and hence making it impossible to distinguish the employees from the customers to a musical about napkins that spontaneously breaks out in a food court to a 1 minute sequence of carefully choreographed events that loops for 5 minutes inside a Starbucks. Of course, the best part of the spectacles is the reaction of the onlookers--as they slowly adjust to this abrupt and extended undermining of their expectations--the emotions of perplexity, frustration, concern and delight legible on their faces. The performances range from the prankish to the poetic and I am personally more compelled by the ones (like the frozen people in GCT or the Groundhog's Day looping of events inside the Starbucks) that are less committed to the merely comedic than to the strangely beautiful or the metaphysically evocative. P.S. TO THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF THE DAY: I hope that last paragraph added at least a bit of tofu or broccoli to this nutritionally deficient post--perhaps even elevating it from mere snack to the most modest of meals. RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: He had simultaneously totally wasted his life and overachieved. Fri, 11 Apr 2008 23:09:16 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343107/Proposed_Obama_Ad_Etc EXCUSE OF THE DAY: (In honor of Hillary) Sorry I'm late for the status meeting. The sniper fire on my commute was heavier than usual. REVELATION OF THE DAY: (In honor of David Paterson) Even blind guys have a wandering eye. LFAQ of THE DAY: Yes, it's a terrible thing. But why is it that we know 4000 times as much about the pregnant marine who was killed in the U.S. than we do about the 4000 troops who've died in Iraq? PROPOSED POLITICAL COMMERCIAL OF THE DAY: Moveon.org is challenging people to submit 30 second commercials that communicate why Obama should be the next president of the United States. I tried to avoid messages that were bitter and negative or that merely preached to the choir and I came up with the following idea which I submit in roughly scripted form for your feedback. "America in the Mirror" We open on a slightly stooped, run down, disheveled looking Uncle Sam walking down the street. He gets a glimpse of himself in a full length mirror and does a double take. He isn't proud of what he sees. He adjusts his hat--so it's no longer askew. He straightens out his off-kilter bowtie. He sees some food stuck in his white beard and removes it. He realizes a few buttons on his shirt are misaligned so he re-buttons them correctly--then tucks in his shirt. He adjusts his jacket, shaking out the wrinkles. Now he likes what he sees. He stands up tall and gives himself a little "That's more like it!" nod. TITLE CARD: America, Let's feel good about ourself again. TITLE CARD: Elect Barack Obama. Cut back to the new, high self-esteem Uncle Sam giving himself a little "Hey, you're looking pretty good!" look in the mirror. OBAMA: (Unseen audio). Yes. We. Can. CONFESSION OF THE DAY: I always feel like a nut--at least when it comes to the choice famously offered by 2 iconic American candy bars. UNDER-REPRESENTED GROUP OF THE DAY: March Fools. CONCEPTUAL ART IDEA OF THE DAY: (The following words written on a mobius strip.) still running river running still PROPOSED HEADLINE OF THE DAY: Conspiracy theorists claim second shooter in Kurt Cobain suicide. COMEDY OBSERVATION: In comedy, chaos tends to be funny--except when manufactured by Robin Williams. SARTORIAL/POLITICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY: Saw Bush strutting out to a chorus of boos in his bright red Washington Nationals jacket to throw the first pitch of the season. It reminded me of seeing him in that now infamous "Mission Accomplished" flight jacket in 2004. It strikes me: The guy loves to play dress up and make believe--although he's not really interested in or competent for the real thing. It's a shame the presidency doesn't have a uniform. Cause he'd probably like to dress up and pretend to be doing that job too. CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY: VIS: Someone has clearly just sneezed...really loudly. MAN: "Jesus!!!!....I mean, God Bless You." RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE DAY: a) It's be really strange if I heard a cell phone ringing from inside of me. And the people around me heard it too. And I had no recollection of swallowing a cell phone. It might be enough to get me to believe in the supernatural. Or at least to get me to visit a doctor. b) It's be really strange if a man (who was, it should be noted, not an OB-GYN doctor) walked over to a woman and broke the news to her that she was pregnant with his child! CULTURAL OBSERVATION: Leonard Lopate after long absence: Just too insufferably calm and reassuring. He'd make the apocalpyse sound like a warm bath. PROMISORY NOTE OF THE DAY: Some brief comments about Denis Johnson's "Tree of Smoke" which I'm almost done reading. SENTENCE OF THE DAY: In the last 22 years, not a single day has gone by when I have not not thought about you. PEEVE OF THE DAY: Those Taco Bell "Melty cheese" commercials...where the phrase "melty cheese" is used ad nauseum. Melty Cheese; The final breakdown of reason, civilization and the articulate order. UNCANNY EXPERIENCE OF THE DAY: There is something incredibly creepy about opening a door or turning a corner in tight quarters and stumbling upon a still and silent person--who just stands there--failing to acknowledge your approach or warn you of his or her presence. Very Blair Witch. Also very Teddy's hallway. BILL MAHER HIGHLIGHTS OF THE DAY: "Bush the uniter has united the middle class with the lower class." "The corporations believe in the free market for profits but they want to socialize losses." EXCHANGE OF THE DAY: Man sees woman in 32 t-shirt. -Magic Johnson? -No. Old Navy. Commentary on the death of meaning (and general reduction of signification to fashion) to follow. ACCOUNT OF THE DAY: Getting out of a train by the river at dusk. Walking in the gloaming towards the just-after-sunset on a wide and empty downtown street. An alternate dream topography of a somehow familiar place. I start to run then decide to believe I can fly and I lift off the ground--at first so precipitously that I am afraid it is a metaphor for my death but then in a more controlled way, leaning forward into the unknown, soaring in some manageably giddy angle of ascent. Before i know it my interlude of weightlessness has ended and I am back on the ground in strange but not unpleasant encounters with the dead. My father, in a little boat he is paddling around and a woman I once loved, on some side street. Things that can no longer be remembered were said, and shapes I can no longer inhabit were assumed. Upon awakening, I bear within me a trace of the memory of flight and loss; familiarly twinned in half familiar places. DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY: It is a space where all the givens are no longer given. Where all the givens have been taken back. RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: He liked to moderate every conversation he was in. Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:37:30 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343103/Smileys_Sadness_Etc HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: Going to see a friend's improv show at the Upright Citizen's Brigade and hanging out with his funny cute young smart friends afterwards. LOWLIGHT OF THE DAY: Going to see a friend's improv show at the Upright Citizen's Brigade and having one of his funny cute young smart friends ask if I was his father. ACCOMPLISHMENT OF THE DAY: Being last or next to last in both my NCAA pools. 13th of 14 in one and dead last in the other. The truth: There is nothing worse than being in the middle of the pack. Doing the worst is every bit as impressive an achievement as doing the best--as a reliable counterindicator is of every bit as much value as an oracle. To be 2 standard deviations from the mean (if even in the wrong direction) is a point of perverse pride. Or at least grounds for a transparently pathetic attempt at convincing myself of my enduring specialness. I guess it's a good thing I didn't go to Vegas this year. (After 7 years, we are taking a hiatus this year. Late on the last Wednesday in March (i.e. now) is when I traditionally leave for the airport for the annual reunion. It feels strange not to be going this year. But somehow right. I'll spend the next few days losing money in the stock market instead.) THEORY OF THE DAY: A few friends and I were wondering why Coke tastes so much better in Paris. After some conjecture about different formulas, I came upon the following hypothesis. Coke tastes better in Paris than in NY for the same reason Orangina tastes better in New York that it does in Paris. One savors the associations of the iconic brand through the prism of cultural displacement. Coke in Europe tastes of the suddenly pure and mythic American experience. Orangina in New York is endowed with the charmed and slightly exotic aura of European travel. By some fascinating perceptual alchemy, the products' brand associations (their connotative baggage) enhance the actual experience of their consumption. Or, of course, perhaps the water is different. Or there's more sugar. CONFESSION OF THE DAY: For personal reasons, Smiley faces make me sad. MUSIC VIDEO IDEA OF THE DAY: Dual videos for the song "Afternoon Delight" to appeal to different demographics (or at least different psychographics). In one, we hear "Oooohhh afternoon delight...." as a couple has a passionately amorous mid-day encounter. In the other, we hear the same lyrics as a man (played by yours truly) drifts off to a nice afternoon nap. BEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER OF THE DAY: Leonard Cohen singing "Tower of Song" accompanied by the humble supplicant Bono and his U2 companions. (This performance ends the documentary about Leonard Cohen "I'm Your Man"). MUSICAL LYRIC OF THE DAY: (From the abovementioned song.) "The bridges are burning that we might have crossed/And I feel so close to everthing that we lost/We'll never, we'll never have to lose it again." INTRA-PSYCHIC PHENOMENON OF THE DAY: Having to be very careful not to misdial my friend's number--as it's very similar to my ex-girlfriend's number. Only one digit separating a quippy sports chat from a fall through a hole in the fabric of the world. REVISION OF THE DAY: Yes, the preceding is a slight exaggeration. The experiences are actually separated by 2 digits. SUGGESTED BAND NAME OF THE DAY: Helmet Dress MID-WEEK WISH OF THE DAY: For a day of simple dignity to appreciate--in all its perfect imperfection, in all it's gloriously infinite finitude--the simple dignity of day. ASSOCIATED FRUSTRATION OF THE DAY: The simple dignity of day giving way to the indignity of the subway. LFAQs of THE DAY: In all of his not so subtle attacks on Obama (including the recent slimy innuendos about his lack of patriotism), has Bill Clinton been motivated primarily by marital loyalty or political envy? By love or ego? By wanting to see his wife succeed or by not wanting to see himself superceded? Well, I guess it's a less frequently asked question, because the answer is so obvious. Can you be a wonk about anything other than politics and policy or does being a wonk in any other area turn you into a geek? Which is greater: America's sense of exceptionalism or Eliot Spitzer's sense of exceptionalism? Can't you just feel the absence of funk? SADNESS OF THE DAY: I heard that a troubled brother of my father's wife had suddenly died. While I was not at all close with him, and, in fact, hadn't even seen him in about 15 years, I had asked after him recently during the dinner I had with my half-sister (his neice) on the occasion of what would have been my father's 80th birthday. I think I felt some slight connection with him (based on a little philosophical/emotional/mental misadventure in my early 20s that took me out of the orbit of my life for a time) as a partial outcast from the human community. Or at least as a sort of relatably interrupted narrative. He had been a normal seeming young man until a car he was driving crashed, killing his best friend. He blamed himself and never recovered from the trauma...or at least so I was told by his father when he and I spoke at my father's Memorial Service in June. In any event, for either physiological or psychological reasons, he was pretty much a strange marginal figure for the rest of his life--unable to hold down a job or enter the mainstream of human society. He had evidently been most at home in the company of canines and over the last dozen or so years, he had lived in a big house with dozens of dogs he'd adopted. I was surprised by how shaken I was by the news of his passing. I think it was largely due to the fact that the call I received from my sister reporting the unfortunate news was hauntingly reminiscent of the call I got from her telling me that my father had died...and reawakened all the pain and disorientation of that sudden, shocking loss. I was also struck by the image of him being found face down on the floor of his house, surrounded by his dogs. It has really stuck with me. While I have not always been that close with my father's wife, my heart goes out to her for the fact that, within the space of a year, she has lost her husband and her brother and will soon, no doubt, lose her aged (and now heartbroken) parents. Life is an amazingly brutal thing sometimes And perhaps nothing in it is so awe-inspiring as the reality of its ending. Body shots to the heart. Holes punctured in the imaginary sky. Another death at the cusp of spring--at the threshold of the thawing season. DESCRIPTIVE FRAGMENT OF THE DAY: It was a glimpse of another way he might have gone through time. RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: He was better at describing experiences than at participating in them. Thu, 27 Mar 2008 05:38:47 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343099/Obama_Abba_Etc POLITICAL COMMENT OF THE DAY: A few thoughts about Obama, Race and the Presidential race. My overwhelming response to the Obama speech:  Wow.  Beautiful.  Intelligent. Nuanced.  Historic. The 800 pound gorilla in the national room is finally being addressed in a balanced, candid, non-recriminatory and eminently adult way by an individual uniquely positioned to do so.  In terms of basic human truthfulness and the promise of a more enlightened and adult politics, this is an order of magnitude above what any of the other candidates is offering.  And if America doesn't elect this guy, it is clearly not as great a country as it likes to believe that it is.  I think the highest praise I can pay the address is this:  When I finished watching it, I really wanted to share it with everyone I loved and cared about--including my father. I wanted to call him and say “Dad, you should see this.  It's really something.” That said, a fear and a couple of minor but enduring nitpicks and quibbles. The fear: That goodwill being a far more fragile thing than mistrust and fear, I couldn't help but be afraid that this message of nuanced hopefulness and collective responsibility could never survive the abuses, reductions and misrepresentations of our soundbite, spin-happy culture.  The nitpicks and quibbles: My biggest reservation about the speech (and the moment in all Obama's eloquent paeans that makes me cringe a little), is when -in the course of his inspirational appeals to the forces of unity prevailing over those of divisiveness --he alludes to the new common enemy of the corporations "who outsource our jobs to foreign countries."  After being so refreshingly candid and eminently adult in acknowledging the complexities of the race issue, it just seems so disappointingly un-adult and cheaply manipulative to invoke American protectionism as a way of denying the difficult realities of globalism. I would have preferred that he not try to unite the races behind the common enemy of the outsourcing corporate villains--as this constitutes little more than a convenient displacement of the societal rage. The adult reality --and one almost as complex and nuanced as the reality of race in America--is that "outsourcing" is an irrevocable and vital part of new global economy in which we live. As McCain of all people has been candid enough to admit, those jobs are gone and they're not coming back. Nor, necessarily, should they. In the larger picture, every outsourced job is arguably just the flip side of an unacknowledged societal benefit. It is up to us as Americans to meet the challenge of the new century by retooling and retraining ourselves to accommodate these inevitable and irrevocable changes--just as it's up to us as Americans to grow up and face the challenges of being a multi-cultural, multi-racial society. (But that said: I can fully appreciate Obama's reasons for not asking us to be face such complex adult realities on all fronts. We all need our shelter and we all need our illusions. And by way of clarification: I do not deny that there are huge, systemic problems with our current corporate culture. I am merely taking issue with the attack on the corporate outsourcing of jobs.) The other nitpick: It seems somewhat unfortunate that it took this potentially explosive political controversy surrounding Rev. Wright for Obama to deliver this speech. In other words, it is highly unlikely that he ever would have addressed this critical matter in such candid, eloquent and powerful terms had it not become politically expedient--indeed necessary --to do so. But, again, a minor quibble that does not diminish my overall appreciation of the power and importance of the address or my appreciation of his compelling virtues as a candidate. MUSICAL NOTE OF THE DAY: When I heard that the drummer from ABBA had been found dead, my first response was "ABBA had a drummer?" I really wasn't trying to be funny (ok, well, maybe a little bit.) It was just that it was sort of like being told the drummer from Bread or from Enya had passed away. I love Abba--but in my mind's ear I can only hear the sweetly moving, deeply innocent melodies, never the rhythm or the beat. Oh wait: One exception: "Dancing Queen." And yet still--the beat and danceability of that song seem sustained by the synth/keyboard, bass and guitars--not the drum. Anyhow, it's obviously a sad thing--as all death is. But it really shouldn't prevent a reunion tour. LFAQs OF THE DAY: Which was the more important and uncomfortable topic candidly addressed by an African American politician this week:  Race in America by Barak Obama or Adultery (or man's prediliction towards unfaithfulness) by David Paterson? When did Kathleen Turner turn into Tony Curtis in a wig? Did the beautiful young woman who said I looked like Burt Bachrach (an absurdity!) just say that because that was the oldest living person whose name she knew? After trying (and happily failing) to commit actual suicide, is Owen Wilson's decision to star in Drillbit Taylor an attempt at committing career suicide? Y'all????  When did that creep into every well educated northerner's vernacular? CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY: A sheep leader telling a herd of sheep: "Repeat after me: I am not a sheep." OBSERVATION OF THE DAY: There is a joy that is inseparable from sadness and a sadness that is inseparable from joy. JOURNO-POLITICO-COMEDIC OBSERVATION OF THE DAY: Heard Ben Karlin (Former head writer of the Onion, Executive Producer of "The Daily Show" and co-creator of "The Colbert Report") interviewed on NPR's "Sounds of Young America" this weekend. I was struck by his mystification about how at the peak of The Daily Show's popularity, journalists would always come up to him and express envy. "Wow, we wish we could do what you guys do!", they'd exclaim, like the Onion boys were the coolest kids in the class. But in reality, what were the Onion guys doing? They were simply digging up old clips of Cheney and Bush saying the exact opposite of what they were now saying. In other words, they were simply exposing the lies, hypocrisies and contradictions that were a matter of public record. And this was precisely what the cowed and abdicating journalists had convinced themselves they were not allowed to do. Really kind of amazing. MY TWO FAVORITE FILM QUOTES OF THE DAY: (Or self portrait through two film quotes). "I made a mistake...ok. I made a mistake!" -Sean Penn, shattered and alone at the end of "Sweet and Lowdown." "I want to become immortal and then to die." --From Godard's "Contempt" ABSURDITY OF THE DAY: President Bush let his inner adventurer out while discussing the state of the war in Afghanistan with military and civilian personnel. While those in Afghanistan detailed the logistical and diplomatic problems via teleconference, the President took a much more whimsical approach to their mission. Via Reuters: "I must say, I'm a little envious," Bush said. "If I were slightly younger and not employed here, I think it would be a fantastic experience to be on the front lines of helping this young democracy succeed." "It must be exciting for you ... in some ways romantic, in some ways, you know, confronting danger. You're really making history, and thanks," Bush said. Just like he felt about Vietnam at the time. ART COMMENT OF THE DAY: Saw the Cai Guo Qaing exhibit at the Guggenheim. Certainly the most compelling use (and transformation) of that iconic space I've ever seen. The central piece de resistance is the installation of a time elapsed car explosion. We see the car at the base of the museum and then in 8 subsequent stages of twisting suspended elevation as if in the wake of a bombing. There is also a stunning piece comprised of a pack of wolves running so hard that they elevate off the ground. As we ascend the spiral rotunda, we follow them as they continue to "run" through the air until they suddenly smash into an invisible (plexiglass) wall and pile-up in mangled and distended fashion on the ground. A couple of striking things about the show: One is, that while it's one of the coolest art experiences you'll ever see, you never even remotely feel like he's showing off. He truly feels like he's in the grip of larger concerns. History, movement, violence, beauty etc. Another interesting thing is the way that, in these exercises in carefully aestheticized violence, the beauty is somewhat abstracted from the destruction. For example, in both of the works described above, there is an elision of the moment of actual impact. The car is catapulted through the air, but is never mangled or misshapen by the implied explosion. And when it finally comes to rest at the top of the museum--after vaulting over the wall at the top of the spiralling ramp--it is in perfect mint-condition, ready to be driven away. SImilarly while the wolves are seen piled up in agony after the moment of terrible impact, we never see them crushed grotesquely against the plexiglass. They are already turning as they collide--already protected from the worst of it. The imaginary reworking of the trauma; abstracting the beauty of the violence from its terrible effect. STRANGE COINCIDENCE OF THE DAY: No sooner did I write the description of the wolves running into the glass wall than I read that that poor ABBA drummer died in a freak accident after smashing into a glass door. DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY: Everything felt tampered with. Like someone had come in and subtly rearranged everything in his innermost room. Or perhaps had just picked up each thing and returned it to its exact same position--changing everything and nothing in the process. RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY: He fought like a girl, but he cried like a man. Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:50:50 GMT http://www.newyorkcity.com/people/Teddyvegas/blog/343089/A_FEW_FINAL_THOUGHTS_ABOUT_CLIENT_9 A FEW FINAL THOUGHTS ABOUT CLIENT 9: Yes, it’s a classic tale of one man's lust, arrogance, hypocrisy, hubris, eros and thanatos. But let’s not forget that this was not a victimless crime. Not only did he humiliate his wife, his children and his party, but he really inconvenienced the hell out of clients 1-8! It is truly ironic that Spitzer was so hell bent on bringing down illegal operations that he inadvertently brought down the one he was supporting! Indeed, how crazy that it was an investigation into his conduct that led to the demise of the prostitution ring rather than the other way around!! More plainly put: The prostitution ring got in trouble because of the politician John instead of the politician John getting in trouble because of the prostitution ring. I don’t know if you noticed, but Cialis had ads during almost every commercial break during the coverage of the breaking story—making it the most inadvertently apt media buy I’ve seen in a long time. Watching David Boies, Alan Dershowitz, Mark Green and David Margolick on Charlie Rose talking about the case, I couldn’t help but wondering how many of them were silently thinking: "Damn. $6000 an hour!!! I’m one of the top lawyers in America and I only get a fraction of that." Indeed, as I learned from someone I know who works for Boies, the pre-eminent defense attorney bills just under $1000 an hour. So in effect, while he was getting $1000 an hour to keep AIG’s Hank Greenburg from getting screwed by Spitzer, this comely courtesan Kristin was getting paid six times that much per hour precisely to let him screw her. LFAQs: Will Eliot consort with the whores more or less frequently now that he’s out of the public eye? Is Governor David A. Paterson also color blind? FIVE COMMON MISINTERPRETATIONS OF ROTFL: Really Overwhelming This Freaking Life Ridiculous Old Terribly Failed Loser Right on the Fallen Leaves. Randy Old Tyrant Farts Loudly Rich Ornery Turd Finally Leaps Thu, 13 Mar 2008 20:19:54 GMT