Blog
September 26, 2006
PREVIOUSLY REFERENCED IMAGE OF THE DAY:
This is the Lastings Milledge doll my 10 year old nephew innocently and enthusiastically made in celebration of his favorite Mets player and which--for obvious reasons-- I had to gently dissuade him from bringing to the game. (See the posting of 32 days ago entitled "EMMY'S, METS, RACE...") Oh, actually, I'll just copy and paste the anecdote here for the scroll-aversive:
My brother's son Daniel is a huge Mets fan and (largely for reasons of his name, I suspect) Lastings Milledge is his favorite player. Anyhow out of innocent enthusiasm, Daniel made a do-rag sporting monkey doll with a Lastings Milledge number 44 jersey that he wanted to bring to Shea in honor of his favorite player. Needless to say, I had to have a little avuncular sit down with him--in which I initiated him into the hard realities of racial perceptions and sensitivity. I think the Howard Cossell "That little monkey sure can run" story got the point across. Daniel seemed a bit crushed by the sordid fallen-ness of the adult world, but he understood. We made a brief effort to refashion the skull capped monkey doll into another lighter-skinned player's likeness, but it was too hard to turn the 44 into a 5 for David Wright. And, besides, it just didn't look like David Wright as much as it looked like Lastings Milledge.
RUMOUR OF THE DAY:
So Osama might be dead. Let's say he did in fact die of Typhoid Fever--as reported by French Intelligence. I am counting the moments before the Bush adminstration claims that they invented Typhoid Fever...or that they used it as part of an elaborate biological warfare campaign against the Al Qaeda leader. Actually, if Bin Laden has in fact died, I think it makes the U.S. look bad. Not only couldn't we ever locate him or get to him. But we didn't even have any idea that he had died and, shame of shame, had to rely on--quel affreux!--the French to find out. Say what you will about the French, but this--in addition to their sensible refusal to join our dubious war effort--is another instance of French intelligence proving superior to ours in more ways than one.
But no doubt, Rove will spin it into a brilliant victory in the war on terror.
POLITICAL COMMENT OF THE DAY:
I have been all too willing to attribute many of the failings of this Administration to incompetence rather than malicious intent. But I'm really beginning to suspect that the Bush Administration has a calloused disregard for life. And not just foreign life, but American life as well. We now know that Condi Rice--in flagrant defiance of the evidence and succumbing no doubt to the pressures of Wall Street-- approved the memo claiming the air at Ground Zero was not dangerous. We also know that the government sent troops into an unnecessary war and without the necessary training, planning or protection. And in action upon action (or, as it were, inaction upon inaction), the administration has systematically sold the environment up the river--exposing humanity to the dire consequences of global warming. These kind of things are not readily dismissed as the product of mere incompetence because they all involved the willful disregard of hard evidence and expert counsel. While there is no doubt the terrorist threat is real, this administration has repeatedly shown something like a will to "do us harm."
RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:
He suffered his good fortune with admirable stoicism.
TV REFLECTIONS OF THE DAY:
Watched a show on Nova about Einstein's famous equation relating light, matter and energy. Really enjoyed the dramatic re-enactment of the young Einstein (while still an employee at the Patent office) experiencing his "eureka moment." There's an inherent cheesiness in the attempt to represent any critical moment in the life of the mind and this, I am pleased to say, was no exception. Speaking of enactments of seminal creative moments: I also enjoyed the dramatic representation of the birth of a comedy skit in Aaron Sorkin's new show Studio 60. Again, the full script, hatched whole in a spontaneous paradiddle of inspired collaboration. Speaking of that show, a few more things I loved: a) the fact that, as in West Wing, they are always delivering --with pretenatural self-possession--their perfectly scripted, hiply principled lines. b) they are always doing it while walking and c) how that the West Wing guy now looks like a cross between Malcom Mcdowell and Barry Manilow. Oh, and the closing scene (the "cold open" choral number for their SNL type weekly comedy review) was pretty classic. Better than anything SNL has done in years.
CRITIQUE OF THE DAY:
We all heard or read about Hugo Chavez's speech at the U.N. And we are all aware of how everyone in American politics (blue, red, left, right and center) joined forces to condemn his remarks. I, however, think he wasn't hard enough on Bush. Calling him the Devil isn't strong enough. The image of the Devil is watered down by centuries of exposure as a pop cultural figure. He is a hockey player from New Jersey. He is on hot sauce bottles everywhere. To have more impact--and indeed be more accurate--Chavez should have used a less tired and hackneyed term for ultimate evil. He should have said "Bush is Lucifer" or "Bush is Beelzebub." Something that would allow the obvious truth of the claim to register more powerfully.
OK, ease down Homeland Security guys: Obviously I'm kidding. But it was irresistible as a premise.
My only real observation about U.N. week was that I was blown away by the exceedingly low level of discourse. If this is reflective of the state of the world (and surely it is) it's really one sad ass spinning rock on which we're stuck.
It made the level of discourse in our recent presidential elections (or for that matter the local sandbox) seem positively nuanced and elevated.
RANDOM E-MAIL EXCERPT OF THE DAY:
Was that comment sarcastic? Or genuinely appreciative? Or an attempt to be funny? Or merely another instance of retroactiveive intentionality whereby you have no idea how you intended it until you see how it's been received?
CONCEPT OF THE DAY:
Retroactive intentionality.
META-REVIEW OF THE DAY:/HELLO? MOMENT OF THE DAY:
I guess the Times felt obligated (under the dubious notions of "journalistic objectivity" and "balance") to allow a politically conservative republican-friendly critic named Jennifer Senior to review the recent books by Lewis Lapham and Sidney Blumenthal. She was, as one might expect, highly critical of both of their preaching to the choir publications. Anyhow, I won't run at the mouth about the extremely problematic status of of "balance" and "objectivity" in this discursively skewed semi Orwellian political climate and will simply focus on the fact that she ended the review by chastising these two administration critics for lacking a sense of humor. Sure, she allows, the Right wing pundits are every bit as biased and tiresome, but at least they are funny. Hmm. Funny?? Oh, why, yes of course. Bill "Rim Shot" O'Reilly. Tucker "The Cut-Up" Carlson. Rush "Rib Tickler" Limbaugh! These people are a fucking riot! Jon Stewart? Stephen Colbert? Al Franken? Now THOSE grim humorless ideologues could learn a hell of a lot from the Fox News Funsters. Yup, when I'm really at the end of my rope and looking for the sweet balm of comedy, there's nothing like an Anne Coulter stand up routine or a Hannity and Colmes improv bit to inspire laughter and restore my will to live.
Thank you Jennifer Senior for the reminder.
OUT OF CONTEXT SENTENCE OF THE DAY:
He's going to be so happy. Steel yourself.
NEW CLINICAL CONDITION OF THE DAY:
Experienced after visiting entropic environs such as my apartment:
Post Traumatic Mess Disorder.
WAR ON ERROR THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Study finds Iraq War has made Islamic terrrorism. No Duh!! Anyone with any sense --which is to say me and pretty much anyone who is not a blind faith true believer neo-con(man) ideologue--could have told you at the start of the war that the venture was destined to fan the fires of Islamic extremism (I had mistyped it extreeeemeism and sort of liked it for the combination of extreme extremism and theism) and make us less rather than more safe. And it galls me that this argument was never made in any clear and consistent way by Kerry in the 2004 elections. Even though the evidence had not yet mounted to absolutely incontrovertible levels, I really think the Democratic candidates should have gone into battle with that obvious and compelling message: That they were the true pro homeland security party. And that they would go about protecting us from the threat of terrorism in ways that were intelligent and effective rather than blindly counterproductive. The Democratic party. Stronger on homeland securitty than the Republicans. Because smarter on homeland security than the Republicans. With a slogan along the lines of Smarter. Stronger. Safer. Take what was perceived to be the Republican strength and, by a rhetorical jujitsu, expose it as their greatest weakness. OK...rant over. .Just so disgusted that all of this was SO SO SO transparently obvious from day 1. But I guess this paves the way for them to take such a position in the upcoming elections and in 2008. But still, it's hard not to have a lingering sense of disgust at the wasted energies, resources, opportunities and, of course, lives.
PYSCHO-SEXUAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
It's easier than ever for the twisted pedophiles to get access to kiddie porn on the web. But it's also easier than ever to lure them out and expose them through "Dateline" style entrapments. I guess to riff on Dickens, it's the best of times and the worst of times to be a twisted perv.
All joking aside, it is one thing I am extremely grateful for...because I could imagine nothing worse than feeling sexual attraction to little kids; to feel condemned to a socially reviled and morally wrong activity. To be exiled from the human community and the possibility of love.
BROADCAST MOMENT OF THE DAY:
An exchange during Monday Night Football between the dumb jock ex-NFL QB Joe Thieisman and the cynical resolutely unathletic commentator Tony Kornheiser:
THEISMAN: (After a replay of a pass intererence call showed no pass interference had taken place) You gotta wonder why was the flag thrown. Did the official not see something?
(Pause. About the same length as the one a few moments ago after he called the Falcons the Saints).
KORNHEISER: That's a very Zen-like question. And I don't think we're in a position to answer it.
T-SHIRT IDEA OF THE DAY:
Bored on the inside.
CONCEPT OF THE DAY #2:
Decoy Looks.
A friend was describing to me how he prevents getting busted by his girlfriend when he starts involunarily tracking some hot woman with his gaze while they're together. He will then start randomly eyeing ugly women. Or guys. So as to disguise the truly illicit libidinous leer.
These are his decoy looks.
Sort of like the real presidential car hidden in the caravan of identical esplanades.
QUESTION OF THE DAY:
OK, I bought a pack of gum with a friend the other day and she asked a great question. Why is the gum maker legally required to write "Not a low calorie food" on the package? Why aren't you required to write "Not a Low Calorie Food" on a tub of butter or a box of Krispie Creme donuts or a quart of Ben and Jerry's Triple Fudge Sundae Suicide ice cream? Where is the cut off line? Where is the point at which confusion or deception is considered possible?
Not a low calorie food. Brilliant.
It's sort of like writing "No carbs" on a cigarette. Or "0 calories" on an atomic bomb.
CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY:
A nuclear bomb being dropped out of a plane with "No Carbs!" written on it.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:
There is no indication that anyone in Tikrit was misled by its government about dangerous air quality.
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Posted on 9/26/2006
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September 18, 2006
IMAGE OF THE DAY/EXPERIENCE OF THE DAY:
I rode in a friend's boat up the Hudson for lobsters near the Tappan Zee bridge in Tarrytown. We watched the sunset up at the marina restaurant and then returned on an almost entirely dark, entirely untrafficked river. The water was glassy smooth--and for perhaps the first time ever on a boat, I experienced no motion sickness.
Coming off the river at night and straight into Manhattan was an amazing transition. From the unpeopled and silent, to the teeming and loud. From the fluidity of water to the fixity of stone. From the river which feels somehow free from the forces of time to the city which feels completely determined by them. And to experience such stark contrast in such rapid succession. Right off the water and straight into the ESPN zone. Wonderfully dislocating. As I lay in my bed catching up on the games I'd missed, a sense of liquid possibility lingered.
IRONIC META-THEFT OF THE DAY:
You know those amusing Citibank commercials where characters who've had their identity stolen speak in the voices of the people who've stolen them? You know: The big muscular black guy speaking with the voice of a valley girl who's talking about all the great clothing she bought etc? Well, I'm watching a commercial and I see these two well dressed 30 something men talking in the voices of young adolescents. And I'm waiting for the Citibank logo to come up and, instead, it says something like "Test Drive someone else's identity." And there's a logo for the video game "Test Drive." And I'm sort of stunned. Because while I've certainly seen ad ideas stolen before (albeit seldom so shamelessly), I have never seen a commercial steal its identity from a commercial about stolen identity. A dazzling case of meta-theft--brought to you by "Test Drive."
CELEBRITY NON-SIGHTING OF THE DAY:
As I walk from the subway to my apartment, I see a semi circle of paparazzi waiting out in front of a building. The spectacle has me semi rivetted. And semi fascinated by my own semi-fascination. I suspect that I am more intrigued by the mystery of the absent celebrity than I would be by a sighting of the celebrity him or herself. But maybe I am just flattering and ennobling myself with this idea that I am above common celebrity worship. I linger for a few moments gaging peoples' level of curiosity as they pass (feeling stalkerish, standing there...actually, more like a stalker of stalkers --as what are the paparazzi but professional practitioners of vaguely menacing unauthorized pursuit?) and then leave before finding out who the mystery celebrity was.
PROJECT IDEA OF THE DAY:
It suggests an interesting activity. Stalking the papparazzi. Just follow the paparrazzi wherever they go--without a camera. Just be some creepy guy who always arrives just behind the pack and just stands there looking on.
Then have someone following you around filming it.
CELEBRITY SIGHTING OF THE DAY:
I am sitting in Central Park on Saturday with my friend. We find ourselves, regrettably, within listening distance of the Central Park singer who sings a variety of 1970s light FM songs (from the era of the labial male)--in a manner that makes the originals seem positively edgy. (And full disclosure: These are songs I --as a product of the labial male generation--actually love.) Anyhow, as the guy segues from a mediocre rendition "Sweet Baby James" to a tepid version of "Danny's Song", I remark that what is striking about the guy is that he has absolutely no style of his own. He's just sort of a master of the middling imitation--effecting some pale acoustic likeness of whatever singer-songwriter he happens to be paying homage to. Anyhow, as he moves onto to a perfectly undistinguished version of "American Pie," (One that has me more nostalgic for Don MaClean than I ever suspected I could be), I see a small black guy walk by in front of me with a blond white woman. They are followed immediately by 2 secret service security men with ear pieces--and then by a third one further back. In the time it takes for the caboose of this security train to pass me I realize that the guy they're following/protecting is Kofi Annan. After the momentary gratification that attends this act of identification, I start thinking: Why does Kofi Annan need all that security? He's the head of the UN for goodness sakes--the most powerless, ineffectual, irrelevant organization in the world! Who would bother to abduct him? Who in the world would possibly bother to pay the ransom? And if they're worried about someone trying to attack him rather than merely abduct him, there are only three suspects in the world who hold him and his organization in that much contempt --and Cheney, Bush and Rumsfeld are all really easy to find. As I reflect on this matter, I see that Kofi and his little train of security guys have stopped to listen to the guy with no style sing "American Pie." The soulless rendition wafts through the Indian summer air. "...And Good old boys drinking whiskey and rye singing this will be the day that I die." The security guys look like they're really hating their jobs. I see one of them muttering something into his mouth piece. I imagine it's "Can somebody take this guy out?"
FACTOID OF THE DAY:
The number of obese people in the world has now surpassed the number of malnourished people in the world. Gives a whole new meaning to the "Tipping Point."
It's "world out of balance" writ large. It's "ecce homo" writ supersized.
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn10036-obesity-epidemic-engulfing-the-entire-world.html
On the upside, no country with 48 ounce medium sodas has ever declared war on another country with 48 ounce medium sodas.
And remember, in the immortal words of some guy in Emmack and Bolios--speaking with a troubling lack of self consiousness to his wife--"Wow. The fourth scoop is only 50 cents more."
That would make a nice epitaph for humanity if we don't make it.
SUGGESTED BAND NAME:
God's Cholostemy Bag
SUGGESTED PAINT COLOR NAME:
Ashkenazy white.
BRIEF RANT OF THE DAY:
Disgusted with the way Bush used the rhetoric of unity to politicize 9/11. AGAIN! He comes for a photo op every 5 years. Preaching unity. Delivering division.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060912/ap_on_go_pr_wh/sept11_bush
POLITICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
I get a mass e-mail from John Kerry. Imploring me to support a fund to defend 4 Democratic war vet candidates against the the inevitable "swiftboating" they will be subjected to. He's talking tough in the rear view mirror. It feels like a transparently self-serving gesture. The subtext is "I'll kick their asses next time...please nominate me again." I like Kerry. Good man. Bad candidate. But it'd be nice for a politician to--for once--do something that didn't feel so calculatedly self serving--so clearly done with an eye towards their career Curiculum Vitae. I'm tired of brown nosing, teacher's pet Democrats. It'd be nice to see someone just do something brave and unpopular and from the heart and spontaneous and unsafe and unfocused grouped.
Political media consulatants and pollsters (and the associated deference shown to them) have ruined politics in America. At least ruined Democrats in America.
Give me someone who will stake out some damned territory of his own and bring people over to where he is...not try to research where they are and shrink-wrap himself to the size and shape of their wishes.
Reminds me of seeing Gary Hart recently talking to Jon Stewart about his new book A democratic manifesto. Stewart was talking about how sad and funny it was that Democrats had to read a book to know what they stood for. But, alas, it seems to be the case.
APERCU OF THE DAY:
Ex-lovers are like houses that someone else has moved into.
MOTTO OF THE DAY:
Joke-like utterances merit laughter-like responses.
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF MOMENT OF THE DAY:
Backup Punter stabs starting punter in the leg.
http://sports.yahoo.com/ncaaf/news;_ylt=AtOqm0qjq.vqDDY8ciG6AFE5nYcB?slug=ap-ncolorado-punterattacked&prov=ap&type=lgns
Harding-Kerrigan redux. But to this overshadowed loony toon's credit, at least he didn't delegate the deed. He acted as his own Galooly.
CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY:
VIS: A woman in the crowded crosstown bus is talking into her cell phone.
WOMAN: Whattya mean the psychiatrist says your parents are hostile to each other? They can't hear. They're yelling at each other because they're almost deaf!.
THE SHOCKING SUGGESTION THAT WOMEN MAY BE AS STUPID AS MEN:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/rasmussen/20060912/pl_rasmussen/iraq20060912_1
A plurality of Americans, 43%, continue to believe that there were links between Saddam Hussein's government and Al Qaeda prior to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Thirty-two percent (32%) disagree while 25% are not sure. Once again, there are huge partisan divides on this question. By a 59% to 19% margin, Republicans say there were Iraqi-Al Qaeda links. Democrats disagree by a 46% to 34% margin.
Women, by a 46% to 27% margin, believe that there were pre-9/11 links between the organizations. Men were more evenly divided.
ALCOHOL-RELATED NEWS OF THE DAY:
Study shows Drinking Alcohol Boosts Income.
Bottoms up... the corporate ladder!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060914/hl_afp/afplifestylehealthalcohol
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
She was so obsessed with status in a really brittle and uninteresting way. So needless to say, I thought she was beneath me.
FEEL GOOD STORY OF THE DAY:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=3379017
Negative space graffiti. A delightfully incomplete cleaning job.
FEEL BAD STORY OF THE DAY:
In this T-ball league, rules required that every player on the roster play a minimum of 3 innings. The T-ball coach offered one of his players $25 to injure his autistic (and not athletically gifted) teammate--so the coach wouldn't be forced to play him in the game.
http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/news/story?id=2583609
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:
No parent was accused of bribing a teammate to bean an autistic teammate in the head--to keep the coach from having to play him for the required minumum 3 innings.
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September 11, 2006
9/11 IMAGE AND ANECDOTE OF THE DAY:
This is the sidewalk in front of my apartment. It's my personal Ground Zero. It's where it all got started for me on 9/11/01. Yes, that moring as I stepped out of my building on my way to work, I stepped--at this very spot--in a steaming pile of dog feces. Note: I had not stepped stepped in dog product for well over a decade and have not stepped in it since. At that moment, I let out a huge expletive and, noticing that an older lady was passing by--and attempting to temper my crass verbal gesture--I explained, through a forced smile "This is going to be a bad day."
Moments later--and, yes, after assiduously wiping my shoe off-- I arrived at my coffee shop where a man ahead of me was describing to the short order guy how he'd just seen that a plane had flown into the World Trade Towers. "It's the most terrible thing I ever saw," he said. In my ungenerous, pre-caffeinated, post dog pooped state all I was thinking was "Ok, drama queen...a little biplane flies into a building. Quit your histrionics and get the hell out of my way." It was only when i arrived at work that I realized just how horribly accurate my morning prediction had been.
PRE 9/11 MEDIA OBSERVATIONS OF THE DAY:
They had the 9/11 movie "Flight 93" on cable so I started watching it. Whatever praise-worthy qualities (and claims to nonexploitativeness) the film may have had were completely compromised by its being punctuated at 15 minute intervals by pods of commercials. The Masters--the OTHER truly solemn event in American broadcasting --always merits a commercial free broadcast. But evidently not September 11. And not only were there commercial interruptions, but they were not in any way put through any kind of tact or relevance filter. Indeed, I went straight from seeing this gut wrenchning re-enactment of real heroic courage in the face of certain death to seeing a commercial for the World War II video game Company of Heroes. So to re-cap: From watching a re-enactment of recent tragic events with heroic overtones to an ad for a video game that lets you participate in a re-enactment of a past tragic events with heroic overtones--with both distinctly for profit acts of representation laying claim to some kind of historical authenticity. Now lest you think that, in the necessarily impure medium of commercially supported television, this is a relatively reasonable and contextually appropriate product pitch (an attempt to master the tragic events by endlessly replaying them (albeit in a displaced fashion) yourself),please note that the subsequent commercials in that pod were for E-surance, Mr. Clean Magic Reach (A behind-the-toilet bathroom cleaner) and Cialis (a boner booster). I guess it's arguably appropriate in the event that the trauma of watching this show causes you go limp, vomit and then get in a car crash on your way to pick up some Magic Reach to clean up your mess. But really, for me it kind of broke the spell.
Actually, sort of fascinating to see this hallowed "sacred" American tragedy presented in this crudely commercial context. I guess it's corporate America's way of reiterating the great Bush Doctine to which I would be faithful the very next day at Ground Zero: "Be Patriotic. Go out and buy something."
NON 9/11-RELATED MEDIA OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
This viewing experience happened on the same night that I watched Larry King show replay after replay of his guest--an investigative reporter--getting beaten to a bloody pulp by one of the targets of his telejournalistic inquiry, a gruesome sequence that wqas catpured on video while the guy was trying to film a segment for his show. Larry showed it 3 straight times in its entirety and then replayed it again--asking the still scarred guest to give a blow by blow commentary. Then when the guy was done giving the truly unenlightening commentary (he might as well have said...well, this blow hurt...and yeah, he got me good here and ouch and yeah, that one was a real bone crusher...) he finished the segment by solemnly assuring us that the entire segment would be available to watch ad nauseaum or ad infinitum (whichever came first) on the CNN website. It was sort of fascinating to see the seemingly endless looping of this brutal beating presented under the flimsy cover of serious journalistic inquiry.
But I guess they have to compete with Youtube somehow.
AMAZING QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"One of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the War on terror."
-George W. Bush.
I am that rarest of things: Speechless.
Ok, I'm coming out of it slowly.
We feel your pain, Dubya.
And one of the hardest parts of our job as citizens is connecting anything you say to anything that's true.
My brain is going to explode. Too...Many...Jokes!
BTW OF THE DAY:
I don't watch morning television so I've never seen this Katie Couric. I really know nothing about her but her name. But, really, if she is trying to establish her credentials as a serious evening news anchor shouldn't she try Kate or Catherine? I mean it wasn't Petey Jennings, Tommy Brokaw, Danny Rather, Waltie Cronkite or Eddie Murrow was it?
SOCIOLOGICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
Reflections on Subway etiquette:
A friend at work was telling me about sitting next to a woman on the subway who was telling her (sharing with her or perhaps oversharing with her) that the only upside of having gained 30 pounds is occasionally getting mistaken for a pregnant woman and being offered a seat. This really surprised me because my perception has been that our collective sense of etiquette has devolved to the point where even pregnant women won't get offered a seat unless they're really hot. And, then, only if they look like they might reward the chivalrous gent with a little sumpn sumpn.
Also interesting to see the effect your acts of basic politeness have on the other people in the car. If you offer your seat to an older person or a pregnant woman, a lot of people look at you askance, resentfully--like you're trying to show them up. In others it seems to ring a dim and distant bell of conscience. "Oh, that's cool. Never seen that before. Maybe I'll try that one day---IF the bitch is hot." (Note: The seat-offering gesture can be particularly weird and polarizing if it's across racial lines.)
But the worst is when you see someone contemplating doing the right thing and then you witness the moment at which they visibly decide against it. It's a pantomime of "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm......Nah." They put their iPod back on and tune back out--safely disassociated from the implied obligations of membership in the human community.
TROUBLING ANECDOTE OF THE DAY:
Speaking of the subway:
I'm not the kind of guy that gets freaked out or scared easily. I don't really see signs and symbols of the great apolcalypse (6/6/6 posting notwithstanding) wherever I look. And I resolutely do NOT have a sci-fi imagination. (Never watched Sci-fi stuff as a kid.) I have a sort of aesthetic disdain for apocalyptic thinking much as I have a sort of aesthetic disdain for conspiracy theories. But that said, let me tell you what I saw in the subway:
I'm waiting for the train to go to work and I see some normal looking 50-ish guy in a suit with a briefcase. He walks right past me and, standing on the far side of a metal beam (so as to obscure the view of others clustered at the other end of the platofrm), puts down his briefcase and starts rubbing his hands together with a manic intensity I cannot begin to describe, It was the classic warming of hands gesture. But he was rubbing them as if they were the last two sticks on earth and if he couldn't get them to catch fire by friction he would die from the winter cold. As he rubbed with this truly terrifying fury, his face was distorted into a rictus of agony. Then he stopped, picked up his brief case and walked back to where the rest of the people were. Then he stepped away once again and began his crazed rodent on 'roids routine anew. Once we were all in the subway car, it happened again. People all turned away out of terror or fear or shame or tact--as they would from any random luncatic--except for two little kids who couldn't stop staring. I didn't think of it too much afterwards. Chalking it up to some kind of intense shingles or some bugs-under-the-skin neurological disorder or some kind of non-verbal variant of Tourette's syndrome.
But then, just the very next day, I saw a woman walking towards me in the subway rubbing her pointer finger back and forth against her top front teeth with the exact same kind of terrifying intensity and the exact same kind of possessed look on her face. I mean she was virtually sawing her finger off. And for the first time in my life I was thinking strange sci-fi thoughts. An alien infestation? A new kind of psycho-neurological plague? The invasion of the zombies? I was so freaked out I had to take 6 hours refuge in the blessed opiate of televised sport.
Then I made the mistake of looking at a photo of Dick Cheney and the creepy feeling came flooding back.
TOTALLY OUT-OF-CONTEXT APERCU OF THE DAY:
McDonalds is like the gym for people who'd rather eat than exercise.
TEDDY VEGAS INTERACTIVE FEATURE OF THE DAY:
Which is the best formulation of the above idea?:
a) The Mall is like the gym for people who don't like to exercise.
b) The Mall is like the gym for people who'd rather shop than exercise.
c) McDonalds is like the gym for people who'd rather eat than exercise.
IDEA OF THE DAY:
Bush recently claimed that we don't use torture. We use "alternative interrogation techniques."
Oh, then that's all right. Fine. Perfectly kosher. The media inquiry ends there.
Actually, wouldn't it be nice if he'd share these "alternative interrogation techniques" with the media so they could start using them on him?
ARTICLE OF THE DAY:
Bush reminds Americans U.S. is at war
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060905/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_terrorism
Sounded like an Onion headline. But, alas, it wasn't. Of course, it's the problem you run into when you have elective military wars and link them dishonestly to rhetoricial wars (the "War" on Terror). The fact that he has to remind us that we are at war is a stunning indictment of his authority as a leader and a pathetic expression of his deep psychologocal need to be thought of as a wartime president. He has never made a clear and compelling case for the Iraq War. He has not asked Americans to sacrifice in any way reminscent of wars past. He has been dishonest in his connection of our military wars to the generalized "War" on terror. And he has been incompetent in his execution of both.
9/11 THOUGHTS OF THE DAY:
I went down to Ground Zero today to check out the pre September 11 goings on. A big sign reads "Here. Remembering 9/11." I stand in front of the church cemetery in the exact same spot where I stood with a friend as part of the relief effort on the Friday after 9/11/01 and try to superimpose the memory of that day over the reality of this one. I remember the thick holocaustal ash that covered everything--obscuring even the writing on the headstones. I remember the stray office documents that littered the churchyard. I remembered the twisted metal and the heaped rubble and the acrid smell in the air and the clusters of rescue workers.
Now, today, 5 years later, the clusters of rescue workers have been replaced by clusters of police, clusters of war protesters, clusters of conspiracy theorists and the random Apocalpytician--reminding us that the end is at hand and there is time to repent. A bunch of black circular balloons float in the air--I am not sure if they are symbolic of bombs or wrecking balls--with the words "Troops home now" written on them. One protester's sign reads:
9/11 Deaths: 2973
Iraq Deaths 2667
Bin Laden Lives
Mid-East in Chaos
Al Qaeda Growing
Make Bush Accountable.
A group of Buddhists chants for world peace. A random guy dressed in the American Flag rants and raves about Bin Laden.
A guy hands me a CD of "Loose Change"--a conspiracy-minded documentary--and engages me in conversation about his thesis: That the government (not the terrorists) took down the Twin Towers as a well-planned demolition job. That there is no way the planes alone could have done it. Experts claim the fires couldn;t have reached the temperature necessary to melt the reinforced steel beams. If Osama Bin Laden was behind the attacks, why have criminal charges never been pressed against him? The engines of the plane that allegedly crashed into the Pentagon have never been found and the heat could not have been sufficient to melt them. Etc.
For some reason, this intrusion of lunacy jolts me out of a reflective, elegiac mode and into discursive combat. I tell the guy that I think dismissably nutsy-cookoo paranoia like this undermines the credibility of those of us who are critical of the administration for more solid, less speculative--ok less stark raving loony tunes-- reasons. Plus, even if you are willing to attribute to the Bush-Cheney cabal the requisite level of cold, calculated evil to conceive such a plan (which I am not), you can't possibly grant them the degree of competence to pull it off. I mean, this government can't manage to get electricity to work in Bagdad, couldn't deal with the aftermath of Katrina and can't even manage to plant and "discover" a WMD in Iraq...but they can pull off some dazzlingly complex, diabolically evil plan like this?
Get back on your medication.
I actually only think this last thought to myself because the guy was being quite calm and reasonable-seeming and I didn't want to come off as the crazy one in the exchange.
But the talk of things disappearing without a trace did get me thinking about something I'd never thought about before: Mohammad Atta's ashes.
I have never heard a word about the discovery of any of the terrorists' remains and as I stood there it occured to me that they were, no doubt, mingled inseparably with the ashes of the victims. That the killers and the killed are mixed at the molecular level. That Atta's ashes are in the lungs of the fire fighters. That there is an inalienable impurity at the sacred site.
And such thoughts of inalienable impurity led me to a reflection on how the spirit of unity that prevailed in those days after 9/11 (in NYC, around the nation and around the world) was so quickly and needlessly squandered by the fearmongering, divisive politics of this administration.
And that in turn led me to make a pilgrimage to Century 21 where I performed my patriotic duty and bought something.
9/11 MEDIA OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
As I post this it is just after 8:46 A.M on September 11. I am watching morning TV for the first time in years. I scan the channels and see that every network has devoted their programming to 9/11 coverage. CNN which I am watching at the moment has just replayed the broadcast of their original coverage of the north tower being struck. I am struck less by the imagery (to which I find to my horror I am growing slightly numb by overexposure) than by the fact that the reporter said "We are not sure why the plane struck the building...but we are efforting to find out more." Efforting. Well, I effort to see if there's any channel that is not dedicating its coverage to an attempt to get a piece of the 9/11 ratings pie and I discover that the only one seems to be PBS. Their poignant and pointed bit of programming this morning has to be a political commentary of some kind. It's Curious George.
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Posted on 9/11/2006
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September 05, 2006
"GLAD I HAD A CAMERA CAUSE NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE ME" IMAGE OF THE DAY:
Check out this ad, I saw on the subway platform the other day: In case you can't read it, the headline says" "You've worked hard to get where you are." And the subhead reads, "So why settle for an HIV med that's twice a day?"
Maybe I'm missing something, but it strikes me that this reflects a degree of randomness that would make the Dada-ists blush. I have absolutely no idea how they got this brazenly absurd non sequitur out of the agency or past the client? I think even SNL writers would find it too absurd a premise for a skit. So many absurdities are embedded in this, I don't know where to begin. The logical connection between the claim that you worked hard to get here (wherever here is) and therefore you'd rather take one HIV pill rather than 2 is about as absurd as because you like cookies more than ice cream, you'd rather take one shower instead of two or because you are serious about the war against al qaeda, you must support the war in Iraq. And, then of course there's the random unspoken connection of having HIV to having worked hard to get where you are. If there's ANY logic in it, I suppose it has to be based on the implication that you've worked hard to contract your HIV? It took a LOT of trips to the bath house or a lot of of gruelling, difficult injections with that dirty syringe. Anyhow, it's just dazzlingly, jaw-droppingly nonsensical and I'm really glad I had a chance to share it.
HIERARCHICAL PRIMATE BEHAVIOR OF THE DAY:
Was amused by how the condescension of the New York Times towards Oprah culture (as expressed in Janet Maslin's delightfully snarky book review of Dianna Loevy's "Guide to the Reading Club Experience" contemptuosly entitled "Which Cheese goes best with Faulkner?") roughly parallels the condescension (sans snarkiness) of the New York Review of Books towards the publication that is generally taken to be the standard of literary an cultural sophitication: The New Yorker. In a review in the current issue, Daniel Mendelsohn peers down from the cloud-capped ivory tower of academe to makes use of what psychologists refer to as distancing language in his reference to the iconic magazine ("As a movie reviewer writes in the magazine The New Yorker")--as if it were beneath not only his contempt but his awareness as well--something a frivolous dinner party colleague might have once confessed to guiltily perusing on the toilet between Heraclitus and Heidegger. So to review: The New York Times is to Oprah as The New York Review of Books is to the New Yorker. And, I suppose--although I have cited no evidence to support this-- to some extent as The New Yorker is to the New York Times. Clearly, in the pecking order of intellectual seriousness, there is an inverse relationship between readership and status. (with the notable exception of Toni Morrison).
MEDIA COMMENT OF THE DAY:
Rumsfeld says Iraq war going great. Critics say otherwise. You decide.
Bush says Evolution is just a theory. Some scientists disagree. You decide.
Cheney says Global Warming just a theory. Some scientists disagree. You decide.
For so long --certainly since the build-up to the Iraq war--the Fourth Estate has been guilty of a dazzling abdication of journalistic responsibility. So it's nice to see the NYT and selected other publications finally showing evidence that the role of the media is not simply the uncritical reporting of things said by the White House--where every claim is accorded the same degree of truth value and you decide--but a critical filtering and contextualization of such claims. (File it under the brilliant Colbert Maxim: "Reality has a well known liberal bias.") Sure, they're probably only starting to exercise their proper critical function because the political tide appears to be turning. Still, it's nice to see the gutless two-faced bastards showing their more democratic-friendly face for a change. In a recent story entitled "Rove's word no longer Gospel to GOP" they even go beyond the commitment to truth rather than truthiness and actually assume their right to frame news stories with an implicit critical or political agenda. In other words, this Rove piece is a trend story: There is no single moment at which his diminishing clout becomes "news" and hence it relies on critical judgement and choice to be constructed and reported as such. The framing and defining of a story has an inevitable political component. And it's nice to see the "Liberal" media finally framing some stories from a perspective that's at least remotely suggestive of liberalism. Anyhow, for those interested, here's the story. Not that I actually read it...
Rove’s Word Is No Longer G.O.P. Gospel
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/02/washington/03rove.web.html?hp&ex=1157342400&en=afc5a7a666d04bd5&ei=5094&partner=homepage
MILITARY UPDATE OF THE DAY:
Anyone remember Afghanistan?
The first war post 9/11 war? The one that was actually justified by the the 9/11 attacks--since the Taliban government there had actively hosted the leaders of the trans-national terrorist network that attacked us? You remember. The war against our declared enemies and attackers from which we diverted resources and attention at the critical juncture (when we had the leaders trapped at Tora Bora) in order to initiate an ideologically motivated, strategically unrelated war in Iraq? When we siphoned off Special Ops troops in order to prosecute a war against perhaps the only leader in the world who hated Bin Laden as much as we did? Well, anyhow, evidently that front burner become backburner war is still going on. And evidently it's not going too well.
I just read that the Taliban are back on the rise there and opium production is up 60%.
So, what has been the net effect of our two military campaigns since (and ostensibly in response to) 9/11? Essentially no change of leadership in Afghanistan and probable civil war in Iraq. Not to mention the squandering of unprecented international goodwill towards America--so poignantly expressed after 9/11--and the dramatic increase in al qaeda recruits and sympathizers all across the Islamic world. Oh, and in a perversely symbolic, if temporary, symmetry-- almost the exact same number of American soldiers killed to date in Iraq as American civilians killed on September 11 in Washington, Manhattan and Pennsylvania.
Heckuva job, Bushie. Heckuva job.
NOTE TO SELF OF THE DAY:
OK, getting a bit rant-ish here. Better come up with some funnier and more uplifting fare.
THESIS OF THE DAY:
An Internet Guide to The The Stages of Life (With apologies to Erik Erickson).
16-22. Facebook. Youtube. Porn.
22-26 Myspace. Youtube. Porn.
26-28. Friendster. Youtube. Porn.
28-35: Match.com. Porn.
35-65: Fidelity.com. Porn.
65 and Over: Fidelity.com
AFTERTHOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Hmm. Maybe that wasn't any funnier or more uplifting.
AL QAEDA PR CRITIQUE OF THE DAY:
The American Al Qaeda ploy seems a bit like a rinky dink misstep. A tactical error. The guy seems like a dismissable loony tune with father issues and a probable drug history. (No. Not Bush. The American Islamic guy they had speaking on the tape!). His rant suggests that Bin Laden and Co. are as tone deaf in their attempts to prostelytize to Americans as Karen Hughes and Keith Reinhardt and Co are in their attempts to win the hearts and minds of Iraqis. It's a level of incompetence that is strangely reassuring.
MOTTO OF THE DAY:
Incompetence. The great equalizer.
NEWS ITEM OF THE DAY:
KKK holds rally at Gettysburg
GETTYSBURG, Pa. - About 30 Ku Klux Klan members proclaimed hatred for blacks, Jews, gays and Latinos as they stood behind barricades at the Civil War battlefield where Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060903/ap_on_re_us/klan_gettysburg
God Bless America. That's what our country's all about. That's why we fought to hold the union together. Those are the rights hundreds of thousands of American soldiers have died defending. The right to hate each freely and vocally; the right to express our odious bigotry openly and proudly. "One Nation most divisible. With liberty and hatred for all."
DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY:
It occured to him as they spoke, that at that moment they were undoubtedly the only 3 non-gay, non academic, non professionally literary men in the world discussing the New York Review of Books.
PROMISORY NOTE OF THE DAY:
That I'm gonna finally watch the final Episode of Deadwood that I've been saving for a special occasion on TiVo and once I watch it, I'll blather on about it on the blog.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY:
There were no KKK rallies reported in Baghdad.
MANDITORY VIEWING OF THE DAY:
A historically informed, thought-provoking diatribe on the perils of arrogantly asserted absolute "certainty" and the villianization of those who question it--prompted by Rumsfeld's recent comments. Rare and nice to see moral outrage so effectively fused with analytical intelligence and historical knowledge.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/08/30/keith-olbermann-delivers-one-hell-of-a-commentary-on-rumsfeld/
QUESTION OF THE DAY: (Variation on a previous theme)
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then how many words is a picture of a thousand words worth?
U.S. OPEN COMMENTARY OF THE DAY:
Watching Agassi-Becker was ugly. Unsightly. Like watching two bloodied and exhausted boxers staggering around the ring in the late rounds of a fight throwing the occasional round house punch that catches nothing but air. Or, actually, more like watching Greta Waitz fighting diarrhea during the NYC marathon. Lost in all the understandably passionate valedictions is the fact that it was perhaps the lowest level of tennis I've ever seen played at the U.S. Open (in non windy conditions). It's sort of a sad way to see it end for Agassi.
Huge heartfelt--and richly deserved-- ovation. Arguably the audience expended more energy during that ovation than either of the half-crippled players exerted in the last stumbling set.
ABSURD MOMENT OF THE (OTHER) NIGHT:
After Agassi used one of his replay challenges and the computerized modelling of the video replay clearly established that --contrary to his wishes--the call was correct and should stand, the crowd booed in unison. Now what exactly were they booing? The video replay? Reality? Yup, there it is. Boo Reality!! Boo!! We don't like that reality! It is our American right to make up our own reality! Mommy mommy make that mean un-American reality go away!! If we can't have our reality conform to our wishes, then the terrorists have already won!!!
"WOMEN'S" TENNIS COMMENTARY OF THE DAY:
Oh, one more tennis thought. As I watched the Mauresmo-Serena Williams match just prior to posting this, two things came to mind:
1) When was the last time 2 world number ones who were Wimbledon Champions within the last 4 years, met in the round of 16 of a tournament?
2) Since when is tennis an event in the world's strongest man competition?
This latter perception was inadvertently echoed by the commentators later that night in the following innocent exchange:
Commentator 1: It's great to see the crowd support for Gasquet (who was cramping). When was the last time you heard a Frenchman cheered like this by Americans?
Commentator 2: (Innocently) Well about 3 hours ago. They cheered Amelie Mauresmo.
(Awkward Pause)
Commentator 1: Well I said a French Man.
REGRET OF THE DAY:
Making those cheap gender-stereotyping jokes at the expense of those two perfectly nice seeming and immensely talented women...who could each, I might add, crush me like a bug if she wanted to. And I hope that if by some remote chance either one of them happens to stumble upon this blog, this lame, unmanly, after-the-fact gesture of remorse will dissuade her from doing so.
T-SHIRT IDEA OF THE DAY:
You're only as good as your last nap.
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