POSTING FROM TEDDY ARIZONA

IMAGE OF THE DAY:

Teddy Vegas and The Truth.

(Taken outside the U.S. Airways Arena in Phoenix.)

HEADLINE OF THE DAY:

Over the last couple of days, Bush and Cheney --no longer even giving lip service to being humbled by the recent Democratic landslide in the mid-term elections--have made explicit what has hitherto been implict: They will go ahead with the "Surge" in Iraq regardless of whether America and Congress support it or not. The only truly honest and accurate headline for these developments would be: "Bush and Cheney to Nation: Fuck you."

RHETORICAL INANITY OF THE DAY:

Condi Rice saying Bush's proposed surge isn't an escalation of the war effort. When pressed for what it was if it was not in fact an escalation, she replied: An augmentation. I suppose if troops are killed during an augmentation instead of an escalation, then it isn't a death, it's merely a casualty.

METEOROLOGICAL ODDITY OF THE DAY:

Went to Phoenix. Freaking freezing. Phreezing Phoenix in beautiful Arctic Arizona. I wanted to call room service and say, "can you send up some space heater, penicillin and a trio of nurses? Thanks."

I want to have a t-shirt made up. " I went to Arizona and all I brought back was this crappy case of pneumonia."

INTERESTING AWKWARDNESS OF THE DAY:

Weird when everyone in your row of seats on a plane decides to take advantage of the aisle seat occupant's bathroom trip to make use of the toilet as well. Feels funny to all be lined up next to one another waiting for the facility--your uncomfortable proximity in your seats transposed to your uncomfortable proximity on the line. The nature of your relationship transformed by the awareness that you are going to be doing your private business on the same seat in direct succession. And that you are all standing there, trying to act natural, despite your awareness that you are all working to monitor and master your endogenously arising urethral or colonic exigencies. By the time you return to your seats together, a new intimacy and a new awkwardness have been forged.

ENTERTAINMENT PHENOMENON OF THE DAY:

Watching movies with no audio. Deprived of the environing seductions of sound, you become acutely aware of how silly and contrived motion pictures are.

FURTHER BUSH OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

Fascinating during the "60 Minutes" interview how, instead of giving good reasons and a compelling rationale for his escalation of the war effort, Bush repeatedly talked about the importance of his giving good reasons and a compelling rationale. In addition to the inane sophistry of this rhetorical strategy, he had the infuriating audacity to describe what he was doing as "educating" America. The implicit condescension would be laughable if it weren't so maddening. He's not only the Commander-in-Chief he avered. He was the Educator-in-Chief as well. Or, I would, suggest, the Educaterer-in-Chief.

FREUDIAN ANECDOTE OF THE DAY:

A colleague told me about entering the room of his 5 year old son and being shocked to discover him standing there naked with his penis tucked back towards his behind. It was a sort of inverted "Crying Game" moment--with a pedophilic twist. Anyhow, when he asked his son about it, he said that his sister had just come into the room and he didn;t want her to see his penis so he hid it. I found it fascinating that he didn't have the fig leaf impulse. Instead of finding something to cover up his penis, he merely turned his 5 year old penis into the visual equivalent of a 5 year old vagina. Somehow the thinking was that while it was embarrassing to have his penis seen, it wouldn't be embarassing to have what appeared to be a female pudendum on display. I was going to suggest to the colleague that he tell his son that his sister is always hiding her penis from him--but I thought the better of it.

Male. Female. Presence. Absence. The visible. The invisible. Concealment. Discosure. Identity. Difference. It's all right there.

LINK OF THE DAY:

www.stuffonmycat.com

For sheer randomness, it's hard to top this one. Stuffonmycat.com. Thousands of pictures of things placed on top of peoples' cats. As a colleague suggested, what's next: Thingstotheleftofmyphone.com? I checked, and sadly, that has url has already been taken. But Thingsjusttotherightofmyphone.com is still available.

TELEVISION OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

While in Arizona, trying to get to sleep early for my early morning work presentation I stumbled upon CSI: Miami and was struck by the rivetting creepiness of David Caruso. He's like a pervert empath. His basic attitude towards the crime victims seems to be: "I feel your pain. And I want to fondle your pain. I want to take your pain and gently, sensitively penetrate it from behind."

INDIGNITY OF THE DAY:

On the flight out to Phoenix, I was seated in front of a couple of loud, idiotic, incessant talkers. They spoke at such a high volume that for a while I thought they were with a third person who was extremely hard of hearing. Anyhow, I literally had the thought that if --heaven forbid--the plane were to go down, I would want to turn to them and have my last words on earth be: "Thank God. You're finally going to stop talking!"

FRAGMENT OF THE DAY:

So often the impulse to say, "I wish you had known me when I was alive."

POLITICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

Dems have to fight the right war at the right time and oppose the wrong war in the right ways. They are in a tough spot with regard to resisting the "surge" as the Bush junta has the first mover advantage...having set up the terms of this geopolitical military reality the same way they set up the rhetorical playing field in the 2004 election. It's gonna be really hard to deny the administration the troops they want--as their desire to avoid sending more troops into "harm's way" will be spun as their choosing to put the existing troops "in harm's way."

LINGUISTIC INQUIRY OF THE DAY:

When an animal of the cervine variety is grazing in a field, it's called a deer. But when it's on our plate, it's called venison. When an animal of the bovine variety is in nature, we call it a bull or a cow, but when it's on our plate it's beef. When an animal of the porsine persuasion is rolling around its mud waller, it's a pig. But when it's on our plate, it's called pork.

When that little feathered beast is running around its coop, we call it a chicken. But when it's on our plate, we call it...uh, chicken.

Why? Why no change in the vital versus the edible form of the flesh in this instance? There is a similar failure to distinguish with other birds (Turkey stays turkey, duck stays duck) and with fish. Is this about status? Are fish and birds seen as lower life forms than large mammals are and hence not worthy of a terminological adjustment to honor (or is it to disguise?) their transition from creature to food?

But wait: Doesn't the case of lamb undermine that theory? Even though it is a large fellow mammal, we call it lamb both on the hillside and on the grill.

AMBIGUOUS COMPLIMENT OF THE DAY:

He looked great in a gorilla suit.

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Posted on 1/16/2007 ( Permanent Link )
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