JAMES BOND, CINDY SHEEHAN, BLANKETS, STATS, CELLO SUITES AND AN APB FOR MY AWOL CORRESPONDENT

IMAGE OF THE DAY:


MOVIE COMMENTARY OF THE DAY:

Saw the new James Bond movie. Very good for the genre --sort of analagous to "Batman Begins" in that it is a prequel concerned with exploring the core psychological truth of the now far too familiar character. But there is absolutely nothing on earth more boring to me than a chase scene or a fight scene. Everyone knows the hero has to survive for the movie to continue, so there is about as much suspense and potential for surprise as there is at a White House press conference. I am dazzled by how people can blind themselves to the inevitability of the outcome and remain rivetted by every little twist, turn and obstacle on the road to certain triumph.

RESEMBLANCE OF THE DAY:

The new James Bond looks like a cross between Steve McQueen, Joe Montana and Al Bundy.

Happily the bond girl Eva Green (who looks like a cross between a goddess and a goddess) was gorgeous enough to distract me from this rivettingly bizarre facial fusion.

IRONY OF THE DAY: (Or, for the less detached, enraging injustice of the day):

Cindy Sheehan can be convicted of trespassing for protesting the war, but the death merchants who dishonestly sold us the war and are responsible for countless deaths evade all prosecution.

WOODY ALLEN-ESQUE QUIP OF THE DAY:

She was a proud Jew and a zionist..but I inspired feelings of intense ant--semitism in her.

SELF-REALIZATION OF THE DAY:

Despite my deep appreciation of fine food, I’d trade a 4 star lunch with a sales rep for the dignified solitude of a grilled cheese in a brown paper bag—any day of the week.

STAT OF THE DAY:

According to CNN, a poll finds that 68% of Americans think the U.S. is losing ground in Iraq and 22% think we're making progress. I take this as staggering evidence of the continued efficacy of the Bush disinformation machine. (How could 22% possibly think that?!?!?).

SOULFUL MOMENT OF THE DAY:

I am having an anxious, indecisive and melancholy day. Feeling like a frayed, stray thread in the tapestry of existence. If part of the tapestry at all. I get off the subway at the W. 4th Street station and am overcome with the inimitable sounds of the Bach's cello suites--being played by a guy in the corridor to the W 3rd Street entrance. I encounter the music in the same state of trembling anxiety and awe as when I originally heard it during the first week of my junior year at college. The deep grainy rumblings of the bow, the rich warm--almost human- tones of the instrument, the longingful melodic line (straining for ecstatic release in a kind of euphoric melancholia). It reaches to the core of me; holds me in an acoustic embrace. I experience what I take to be the direct, unmediated communication of soul to soul. Across 300 years. Music as the pure distillate of emotion--stored outside of time but accessible only within it.

I stand there, transfixed, unable to move for about 10 minutes. I was really glad I was not wearing my iPod.

OBSERVATION IN A MID-TOWN SPORTS AND BUSINESS BAR:

The stock ticker crawling. The sports playing. The stats tallying. The figures flying. The time (which is no time) passing.

The constant quantification of the perpetual crisis of existence.

The vicissitudes, the epi-phenomenal fluctuations. The flow and fluxus of life itself-- symbolized, abstracted, comfortingly displaced.

REALIZATION OF THE DAY: ("WHAT WOULD LINUS DO?" MOMENT OF THE DAY)

There are no more blankets. There are duvets and comforters and bedsheets and ottomans and frillies and shams and god knows what else, but god help you if you try to try to find a plain old fashioned Linus-style blanket. When did the blanket become an endangered domestic appurtenance?

UNFORTUNATE NAME OF THE DAY: (My would-be blanket salesperson at Gracious Home).

Asma. Shame on those parents.

PERSONALITY PROFILE OF THE DAY:

Tempermentally speaking, he was a tweener.

TEDDY VEGAS INTERACTIVE FEATURE OF THE DAY:

I'm thinking of starting a store called Rong Aid to compete against Rite Aid: What should be the theme of Rong Aid?

a) Wrong prices?
b) Things that don't work?
c) Things that are bad for you but that you like?
d) Things that are morally wrong.
e) Other.

PHONE CALL OF THE DAY:

A friend calls to tell me that there's a special holiday marathon on PBS. "It's a Horrible Life" followed by Dickens' "A Christman Dirge" followed by "Catastrophe on 34th Street."

SKIT IDEA OF THE DAY:

Monkeys fans who had no idea there was also a group called the Beatles. "The Beatles? Who the hell are they?" Or even better: Monkeys themselves never having heard of the Beatles. A mondo bizarro parallel path through history.

DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY:

His apartment was still littered with the trinkets of having been loved. Actually, they weren't trinkets so much as precious keepsakes. And it wasn't littered so much as haunted and graced.

TRUISM OF THE DAY:

Advertising is a field for small souls and big egos.

METAPHYSICAL THOUGHT OF THE DAY:

Poesis. Traces of the pre-constituted --so alien to this hyper-constituted, ultra-produced, late-capitalist world.

APB OF THE DAY:

Calling special correspondent Loren Parkins who has mysteriously disappeared after filing one field report. If anyone has seen him, please let me know.

AD IDEA FOR THE DAY:

Canon Digital Cameras: The gift that keeps on taking.

ACCIDENT REPORT OF THE DAY:

Nascar driver breaks wrist at golf tournament. Hmm. A strange collision between the world's most dangerous and least dangerous sports.

WEASEL MOVE OF THE DAY:

Pinochet ducking prosecution by the cowardly ruse of death.

T-SHIRT IDEA OF THE DAY:

Body by Haagen-Daaz

CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY:

A sign says "Men's Department."

With the various sizes along the rack:

XXXXXXL Baby Size, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Baby Size XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Baby Size,

Caption: If they sized clothing according to emotional rather than physical attributes.

RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:

He had the makings of a great philanthropist--except for the fact that he was cheap and hated people.

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Posted on 12/12/2006 ( Permanent Link )
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