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MOVIE OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
As I watched his new movie "Scoop", I couldn't help but marvel at the way Woody Allen has managed to let his nose and ears continue to grow over the years while somehow keeping his bald spot exactly the same size. This is indeed a trick more impressive than any that he performs in his role as Splendini the Magician in this quite likeably loose and lighthearted film. Indeed, with his age-enhanced features, he looks more like a caricature of himself all the time. While somehow also looking more and more like Alan Greenspan in the process.
Also, it was strange to see Ian McShane in a role other than Swearingen in my favorite show "Deadwood." I am sure I would have had all kinds of astute observations about the movie to share with you, but frankly I was too distracted by the disorienting spectacle of Mr. McShane speaking with some kind of vaguely British accent and not saying "cocksucker" every few words. I was also, of course, distracted by Scarlett Johanson's meaty lips and Woody's efforts not to break out of his paternal role and kiss them. (Although I guess paternal roles haven't stopped him from such activity in the past. But lest it seem that I'm slamming him, let me add, in tribute to the film, that I think he's a "beautiful, beautiful human being and credit to his race.")
NON MOVIE OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
I just read that Saddam asked that, if convicted, he be shot by a shooting squad like a soldier rather than be hanged like a common criminal. I had no idea there was more prestige in the former than the latter. No suspicion that there was a hierarchy in the world of capital punishment. But I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. It seems everything is ultimately about status and competition. From whose baby is cuter or smarter. To whose delivery was more grueling. (“Oh, you used an epidural?…Wimp!!). To whose tumor is more impressive. (“That blastoma is nothing. Mine is the size of a volleyball." ) to of course—as famously observed by Sarah Silverman--concentration camps. (“Yeah, many members of my family were killed in the holocaust—but we were in one of the better camps.”)
There seems to be no concern so ultimate and primal as to be unsullied by the human quest for status. Sort of sad. Sort of fascinating. Sort of ecce homo.
FRAGMENT OF THE DAY:
Her pay-per-view eyes, his time share heart.
STAGGERING (DEPRESSING) FACT OF THE DAY:
According to a recent Harris Poll, 64 Percent of Americans still believe that Saddam had strong links with Al Qaeda.
QUOTE OF THE DAY/LOOPHOLE OF THE DAY:
As Paul Krugman reminds us in his NYT Op-Ed column today, Condi Rice acknowledged that "as far as we know Saddam did not order 9/11 and may not have even known about 9/11, But, that's a very narrow definition of what caused Sept. 11." That, of course, is a very broad definition of logical. But a very useful definition of the surreal rhetorical strategy of this administration. I hear rumor that she continued: "As far as we know Paul Krugman did not order 9/11 and may not have even known about 9/11. But that's a very narrow definition of what caused Sept 11 and does not mean that we were not fully justified in locking Mr. Krugman up in one of our secret prisons which as far as you know don't really exist."
MEDIA CRITIQUE OF THE DAY: (With debt to Krugman).
Not correcting the simple dishonesties and untruths disseminated by the government's disinformation machine. For example, when Bush says the U.S. had to invade Iraq because Saddam wouldn't let U.N. weapons inspectors in--as he did as recently as a few weekes ago--no one in the media points out the blatant untruth of that statement. The exposure of a factual untruth is somehow not deemed newsworthy. Whereas the quotation of a certifiable untruth somehow is. Despite recent signs of a more emboldened media, this fascinating complicty persists. Of course, instead of being quietly grateful that the media is not reporting on the demonstrable untruth of certain statements made by the White House, the administration spinmasters continue their preposterous charges of left wing media bias and chide the press for not reporting on "good news" from Iraq. It's a tribute to the Orwellian success of the administration's disinformation machine (and the power of human wish fulfillment, denial, gullibility and ignorance), that they have managed to make those of us who want simple recourse to the factual record look like anti-American whiners. Truly dazzling.
IRAQ GOOD NEWS OF THE DAY: (In the spirit of the "fair and balanced" reporting asked for by the administration).
No American Solders were accused of rape or murder today in Fallujah.
REQUEST--NO, MAKE THAT DEMAND-- OF THE DAY:
(After seeing an ad for "Ricky Bobby") I don't ever want to have to see Will Ferrell in his underwear again.
WISH I HAD A CAMERA MOMENT OF THE DAY:
I am in a restuarant. I see a woman sitting in a chair outside with the reflection of an open flame from within the restaurant perfectly centered abover her head on the window through which I see her. It gives the perfect photo-shopped impression of a woman with her head on fire. It is very entertaining to look at as she, totally unaware of her apparent immolation, goes about the business of eating her sandwich and making her calls.
POST BIRTHDAY ANECDOTE OF THE DAY:
I am pleased to report that I began my most recent lap around the sun in fine fashion, with my best performance on the basketball court in years. It was a crazy burst of energy that made me think I should submit a urine sample for steroids testing after the game. But then of course, I realized that I, like Mr. Landis, must've just had a naturally high testoserone level--perhaps elevated by the previous night's birthday alcohol. Anyhow, it helped lift my spirits and helped me defy the tyranny of chronology. Age is just a number. Etc. etc. Or at least that's what I told myself until I woke up so stiff and sore the next morning that I almost needed a walker.
MEDIA OBSERVATION:
The NY Post the other day had a cover article implying some scurrilous association between Christy Brinkley’s adulterous cradle robbing husband and Hillary Clinton--basically because he at some point donated some money to her campaign. Moral contamination by association. Adultery by osmosis. Quality journalism by example.
NATURE IS ONE SCARY MOTHER ARTICLE OF THE DAY:
http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn7927
Warning: If susceptible ot nightmares, do not read.
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
“In some ways (he) does remind me of my father,” she told me. “He was brave, tall, strong, he liked killing animals and he was unreliable.” From article “Ruffled Feathers” by John Seabrook in May 29 New Yorker.
ONION-ESQUE (OR SHALLOT-LIKE) HEADLINE OF THE DAY:
In effort to lose label as least hip neighborhood, Upper East Side to rebrand itself as Lower East Harlem.
CARTOON WITHOUT ILLUSTRATION OF THE DAY:
VISUAL: Young man with a big lip ring on his upper lip. On his cheek is a tattoo with an arrow pointing to the lip ring. The tattoo reads: "Desperate Cry for Attention."
Behold the perfectly ironized man.
RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:
His capacity for heartlessness was matched only by his capacity for self-pity.
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Posted on 7/29/2006
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