VIEW ALL TEDDYVEGAS' BLOG ENTRIES
OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
Americans had a rough week in sports. First getting bounced from the World Cup. Then having all of their entrants eliminated from Wimbledon before the quarterfinals--Agassi, Roddick and Williams all on the same day. So on this July Fourth, we are able to proudly celebrate our independence...from international competitiveness.
STAGGERING JOURNALISTIC REVELATION OF THE DAY:
Lawrence Wright's article in this week's New Yorker detailing the the failures (not so much of intelligence but of communication between the intelligence agencies) that prevented the U.S. from stopping the 9/11 attacks. To see instance after well documented instance of the petty forces of ego and territoriality conspiring to allow these readily preventable attacks to happen inspires a mute making rage usually reserved for the duplicitous dealings of Rove, Cheney and Co. Again, we knew that there were general failures of cooperation between the CIA and FBI in the months leading up to the attacks. But to see the specifics laid out simply puts the mind in awe and the amygdala in spasm. In a sense, these CIA careerists have almost as much blood on their hands as Bin Laden.
IRONY OF THE DAY:
No sooner did I type the above paragraph than I went to Yahoo and read that the CIA unit dedicated to finding Bin Laden has just been disbanded as of today. Incredible coincidence. All those CIA functionaries lost their jobs anyhow. Even from a cynically self-interested career perspective, all of their uncooperative gestures ended up being in vain. Lots of lives were lost. And no jobs were even saved.
CONCEPT OR PRACTICE OF THE DAY:
Using the two handed, four-fingered “quote -unquote” gesture much more liberally and randomly-no longer to highlight the signifier in question and indicate the dubious nature of the claim but to extend the spirit of ironic commentary (and spread the havoc of suspicion) to random (other) parts of speech. Hence, when saying “He was planning on going to a Gentlemen's club” the gestural quotation marks would be used not only on the dubious term “gentleman's” but also -arbitrarily--on the pronoun “he” or the verb “going” or perhaps on the copulative “was” or the indefinite article “a.” I just think it's be an enjoyably reckless way to jam the codes. And exercise the fingers.
By extension, it would be cool to see some expansion of hand commentary and punctuation, such as:
The sideways slanting of two pairs of fingers to indicate Italics.
The air parentheses-formed by cupping your hands about a foot apart.
And, last but not least, the air ellipsis…formed by facing your hand towards your interlocutor and tapping your pointer, middle and ring finger in quick succession-as if on an invisible wall between you.
Practice all these things on your own and start to seed them in the space of social signification. I think you'll feel the joy and power of being part of something bigger and more important than yourself.
REVISION OF THE DAY:
Let's ennoble the preceding idea by humbly calling it "Revolutionary New Movement of the Day."
WORLD CUP COMMENTARY OF THE DAY:
I enjoyed hearing the announcers' repeated attempts to convince the American audience that the action during the Germany-Italy game was exciting. "Oh, I'd describe this game as quite exciting so far," claimed one--despite the failure of either team to score in regulation or even for that matter to mount any kind of real attack. Hey, I enjoy being told what's exciting as much as the next guy. I hate making up my mind about things like that. Also enjoyed the increasingly preposterous lengths they would do to make the narrative somehow relevant to an American audience. The German coach lived in California for a while. America was the only team to score a goal against Italy (of course it was an "own goal"--but who's counting?). Some of the training methods of the Italians were partially developed in America. Etc. They were one step from announcing that one of the German players once ate a Big Mac. For a moment, I was insulted that they assumed the absolute cultural self-centeredness of the American audience--until I realized that these comments were the about the only part of the game I was really paying attention to. Other observations during this battle of Axis powers: The Italian guys have great hair...and it never seems mussed or tussled regardless of how many times they fall to the ground writhing in pain from yet another apparently career ending injury. I was also interested to see a man of color on the German team and wondered if his presence on the field was not in some indirect way a consequence of Joe Louis's and Jesse Owen's debunking of the myth of Aryan superiority. And in the end, I was quite pleased to see some genuinely stellar Italian offense and not to have to witness another Teutonic orgy of celebration.
OBSERVATION OF THE DAY #2:
The Presidential signing statements I wrote about about a month ago (after reading about them in the New York review of Books) , have finally gotten a lot of notice in the mainstream press--largely in connection with the Supreme Court cases over the constitutionality of the some of Bush's uses of military law in the "War Against Terror." Congress is waking up and taking notice that Bush has had his fingers crossed every time he signed one of their bills into Law. There was also a long article in either the New Yorker or the Times about the White House legal advisor who is evidently the chief architect of these Signing Statements (and indeed of the entire legal basis for the "War on Terror"): a guy named David Addington--who is referred to both by his admirers and detractors as 'Cheney's Cheney." Pretty amazing that the man who has arguably made the greatest imprint on our nation's laws and conduct has been completely unknown and invisible until now.
TEDDY VEGAS BRANDED QUESTION OF THE DAY:
Is Cheney's undisclosed location the same as Cheney's Cheney's undisclosed location? And if not, whose location is more undisclosed?
CELEBRITY OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
Sarah Jessica Parker: The only person who can make Julia Roberts look positively non equine. In fact, she could do the same for Mr.Ed.
LITERARY OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:
Just finished Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. I was struck by how the central concept was not dissimilar from that of "Snow" by Orhan Pamuk: the creation of a sheltered idyll in the middle of great conflict-- a refuge from time and the exigencies of the external world that is then, of course, destroyed by that external world. Then an epilogue to address what survived the destruction. Both of the books were enjoyable reads--but if I were to recommend a book it would instead be...
BOOK REVIEW OF THE DAY:
“Gilead” by Marilynne Robinson--a soulfully luminous, beautifully observed reflection on a life. The spiritual antidote to Michel Houellebecq. In fact, “Gilead” and “Platform” (Or “Whatever”-the pithily titled translation of Houellebecq's “Extension de La Domaine de la Lutte.”) would make a fascinatingly schizoid literary double bill.
PET PEEVE OF THE DAY:
A Verizon TV commercial where we are looking at a pen on a table as we hear,"You're looking at one of the thinnest pieces of wireless technology…" Then a hand moves the pen and we see the thin phone that has been concealed behind it. "Oh, there it is." So, in other words, you're NOT looking at it at the time they tell you that you are looking at it. They completely flubbed the language of the misdirection. "INTRODUCING one of the thinnest pieces of wireless technology" maybe…then the voila revelation of the little skinny phone behind the pen. But don't tell me I'm looking at something and then reveal that actually I haven't been looking at it and think that is gonna pass as a clever misdirection. Flagrant conceptual foul. 15 yards. Loss of down.
THING I JUST DON'T GET OF THE DAY:
That Toby Macguire and Keenu Reeves--actors of extraordinarily limited range--indeed actors with two gestures--or, more accurately, two states of stunnedness--get paid about 30 million dollars per movie. Which means about $15 million per signature look or gesture.
OBSERVATION OF THE DAY #3:
After a certain age (say 35) and in a certain socio-economic stratum, nothing says "don't date me" more than dragging a laundry bag around with you to the laundromat. You basically become invisible--even if you look like George Clooney. And if you are visible at all, it is merely as a big billboard on which is written "Loser" and "I might as well be wearing Depends."
BIRTHDAY PRESENT OF THE DAY:
Yankee owner George Steinbrenner shares (and I hope this is no comment on our national character) a birthday with our country. On his birthday today, he was given a big bash by the opposing team. Indeed, Cleveland celebrated George's big day by smashing 6 home runs and beating the Yankees by a historic 19-1 margin. Not only that, but a Cuban pitcher whom the legendarily choleric and competitive Yankee boss let go of about 2 years ago, celebrated George's birth by winning his 17th consecutive decision. Again, historic. With celebrations like this, the Yankee owner should age quite a few years before his next birthday.
CREEPY IMAGE OF THE DAY:
That mouth eye (or ocula dentata) in the sublymonal ad for Sprite.
SAD BUT TRUE FACT OF THE DAY:
On my plane ride back from LA, I read a big article in Newsweek (or was it Time??) about the Al Qaeda plans for a cyanide subway attack on NYC. It was a "behind-the-scenes" type story, taking us into the secret world of intelligence operations and White House meetings. Evidently, central to the planned attacks was the invention of an ingeniously simple little device called the Mubtakkar which is no bigger than a spool of thread and allows for the successful and efficient dispersal of the deadly gas (evidently something of a practical obstacle in the past). When Bush and Cheney and Co. were shown the device they just stared at it and muttered "It's a nightmare." --which, of course, from the point of view of detection and prevention, it most certainly is. Anyhow, the article said that Bush became obsessed with this terrible new security threat and "every single day he would ask for any new information they had on the Mubtakkar." And here's the aforementioned sad but true fact. It's not that this thing exists--something which would be more accurately categorized under Terrifying but True--but the fact that as I read the article, filled with an entirely appropriate sense of sickening anxiety, a small but audible voice in my head was saying "There is NO WAY Bush can pronounce the word 'Mubtakkar'!" Sad but true, my friends. Sad but true that one would have a legitimate basis for being distracted by a thought like that in a context like that.
CURIOUS EXPERIENCE OF THE DAY:
Seeing a Hollywood video that is actually in Hollywood.
FUNNY SPEC AD OF THE DAY:
Guy trying unsuccessfully to pick up his ever so slightly chubby girlfriend. One of them says: "Either you need to get to the gym or I do."
PREMISE OF THE DAY:
People driving all week around LA in search of the Hollywood sign. They think maybe someone removed it to prank them. They'd ask for directions except they're in a rented mini-van and are too ashamed. They feel like they'd be forced to say “Hi, We're in from Idaho and we're looking for a sign we have to find for this treasure hunt we're on. We hear there's a sign around here…Hillywood or Hollyflower or something. Can you point the way?“
Maybe they finally see the Hollywood sign. But it's the Hollywood video sign. They get 50% credit on the family treasure hunt.
I like the idea of the perpetual clueless search for the elusive something. For its comic as well as its existential overtones.
META-SIGN OF THE DAY:
In a local donut shot. (I was, sadly, without camera).
“This sign is not here.”
UNFORTUNATE REALIZATION OF THE DAY:
As I was thinking about a title for this posting, it occured to me, there HAS to be some adult video called "Porn on the Fourth of July." Sorry to have shared.
PLAYLIST OF THE DAY:
"Independence Day" By Elliot Smith.
"Independence Day" By Bruce Springsteen.
TEDDY VEGAS UNBRANDED QUESTION OF THE DAY:
Why are all the songs (read: both the songs) I know about Independence Day so incredibly sad?
Tags:
None
© All rights reserved.
Posted on 7/5/2006
(
Permanent Link
)
Read
368 Times
Send to Friend