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NOTE TO MY READER(S) OF THE DAY:
I want to thank all of the contributor to the first ever Digital Napkins Caption Contest. Without all of you person who participated in it, it wouldn't have been the rousing success that it was. I want to thank all of you guy for your excellent caption. :)
IMPLIED REALITY OF THE DAY:
I call Ticketcharge to get tickets to a play I've heard is good ("Red Light Winter.") I hear the following pre-recorded message: "Welcome to Ticketcharge…We proudly accept American Express." But, when it's time to pay, I tell them I'll be paying with a Mastercard and there seems to be no problem. So I suggest to the guy that they should make clear in the pre-recorded message that they do in fact accept all forms of charge or credit card, and if they have some special relationship with American Express they can say something like: "Welcome to Ticketcharge. We proudly accept American Express. And we ambivalently embrace Visa, shamefuly countenance Master Card and barely tolerate the Discover Card."
NEWS ITEM OF THE DAY:
I read that Dick Cheney is set to throw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals' home opener next week. I'm pretty sure that every 78 year old lawyer in the crowd will be ducking for cover. Actually, it would be brilliant if they could coordinate it so that just as the Imperial Veep goes into his wind-up, every single person in the stands squats down in unison.
SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:
He was such an injustice collector that some small but undeniable part of him couldn't help resenting his newborn son for not having the common courtesy to congratulate him on becoming a father.
MUNDO BIZARRO SPORTS UPDATE OF THE DAY:
Mets in first place. Detroit in first place. The Yankees in last place. The Knicks beating two playoff bound teams with last second shots in consecutive games. Ichiro hitless for an entire series. Barry Zito with an ERA of 47.25. Jose Reyes with more homers than Barry Bonds. Tiger fading down the stretch at The Masters. Can it be long before frogs start falling from the sky?
UPDATE OF THE MUNDO BIZARRO UPDATE OF THE DAY:
Since scribbling the above entry, I see that Barry Zito pitched a shutout (cutting his ERA in half) and Tiger put up a valiant fight in the Masters. Not a true reversal of the aforementioned bizarreness, but i suppose enough to call off the raining amphibians.
POETIC MOMENT OF THE DAY:
Last night, while feeling a bit melancholy, and scanning through the channels for some kind of narcotizing inanity, I stumbled upon a visibly aged Kris Kristofferson, alone on the stage of one of the late night talk shows, He was singing a slow, soulful song with a mournfully beautiful descending baseline--that I later learned was called "This Old Road." Perhaps it was just a function of my emotionally raw state, but the stark, simple dignity of a man alone with his guitar, singing a somberly moving song of experience really stopped me in my tracks. It was startlingly incongruous in the escapist medium of television-- sort of like stumbling upon a bald eagle in the middle of an amusement park or a gazelle in the middle of a video arcade. He delivered his song with a subdued purity of feeling and a directness of voice that put to shame the melismatic histrionics of so many of today's singers. Again, it was probably just my emotionally receptive state, but I found myself thinking about the Orphic power of song to restore us to our deeper, truer selves; to reawaken us to our own mortality and to the precious, grace -flecked path we travel in the imperfectly perfect medium of time. When the song ended and Conan O'Brien finally came onto the stage (it turns out to have been The Conan O'Brien show), he seemed genuinely blown away. Like, "Man, it's gonna be hard to go back to quippy little gags after that one." The verdict: when they're both in fighting shape, it's music over comedy by unanimous decision--assuming the ringside judges are feeling a little blue.
BEAUTIFUL IRONY DU JOUR
(As reported to me by a friend since I didn't see it myself). Evidently, during some BBC coverage of the recent riots and protests in France, the on camera interviewer located a perfectly cool 19 year old French girl who looked like a poster child for La Revolution. He asked her what she was protesting for and she said without any intended irony (and obviously in French) "We are protesting because we want things to remain exactly the way they are. We want it to be for us just like it was for our parents." It's a long way from May 1968 to May Not 2006. Stasis is the new Revolution. Viva La Resistance. To anything or anyone different. To anything or anyone new.
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Posted on 4/9/2006
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