The Pope, Passover, Cornell West Etc.

POLITICAL COMMENT OF THE DAY:

(A propos of all the "bitterness" and "elitism" charges, the inane questioning and the political posturing at the Democratic debate.)

The candidates' outrage is totally manufactured but the media's fatuousness and the pundits' cluelessness seem totally sincere.

PASSOVER REFLECTION OF THE DAY:

I detect among my Jewish friends a subtle sense of enslavement to the ritual that commemorates their emancipation from slavery.

TECHNOLOGICAL OBSERVATION OF THE DAY:

What was most impressive about his screenplay was that he was able to write something so creative on a Dell and not a Mac.

COMMMENT ON RELIGION OF THE DAY:

(Prompted by the visit of the Pope and with all apologies to my religiously observant readers--whose practices and relationship to religious authority I suspect I would have no problem with.)

I have nothing against religious leaders. But I do have a problem with religious followers.

SENTENCE OF THE DAY:

If i didn't know any better i'd think you were trying to give me a heteronormative look.

CONFESSION OF THE DAY:

I just woke up this morning with an urge to use the word "heteronormative." (Yesterday, it was "apodictic.")

SPECTACLE OF THE DAY:

People on the Bill Maher show looking at Cornell West like the people in the crowd look at the Improv Everywhere performances I talked about the other day---their expectations undermined...their faces reflecting bafflement, shock, amusement, appreciation etc...Improv Everywhere should do a segment called Cornell West Everywhere where they just film the faces of the people who are listening to him talk.

LFAQs of THE DAY:

Is Tiger Woods' knee surgery just a ploy to get golf some cred as a sport?

Can you be precociously decrepit?

Who is the world's oldest prodigy?

Is there anything sadder than a guy who lies about winning his fantasy league and who wears his invisible fraudulent crown pretending to be the champ?

Wait...did you think that that was a confession?!?!?

DIALOGUE ON FANTASY HOOPS:

GUY 1: Congrats on winning the championship.
GUY 2: Thanks. I'm ashamed to admit I'm actually feeling pretty proud of myself. But I'll miss it. Fantasy hoops is a very pleasurable time waster.
GUY 1: Seriously, my life would be so much emptier and productive without fantasy everything.
GUY 2: Yeah, it's like election night every night. You just go home all excited and wait for the results to start coming in. I mean, I spent many nights just jumping from electronic boxscore to electronic boxscore...watching my guys' stats accumulate.
GUY 1: I live for the day game and the refresh button.
GUY 2: Brilliantly put. I forced myself--against all inclination--not to do fantasy baseball too. Because I knew it would be the end of every human relationship and every productive pursuit in my life. And you know what: I kind of regret it. :)
GUY 1: i joined 2 leagues just to burn the bridge of humanity.
GUY 2: I am so jealous. I admire your commitment to solipsism. And ironically …I'm the one who feels like, the big loser.

OXYMORONIC TAPE LOOP FROM HELL OF THE DAY:

Your call is very important…please hold for prompt assistance.

STYLE OF THE DAY:

Dignified yet ho-ish.

PEEVE OF THE DAY:

The Pope's benediction at Yankee stadium pre-empting the Denver-Lakers playoff game. Why should someone else's religion upstage my own?

RANDOM TRIAD OF THE DAY:

The white rat, knitting and immortal sadness

GUEST CONTRIBUTION OF THE DAY:

Seder notes from correspondent at Large Loren Parkins.

73 people, allegeldy all members of my family, gathered at the Westmorland Country Club ( exclusiv for Jews) for the first night of Passover. It was a bit of a circus! However great to see my many first cousins, my one remaining Aunt (Aunt Sally, the youngest of the 10 Neplotnik brothers and sisters that made it to this country, only leaving 2 brothers behind because they were in Military service (uncle Yasha.& uncle Ytsaak. Unles Harry David Leo Maurice Arthur aunts Judy Goldie and the only remaining live aunt or uncle first generation is Aunt Sally. Of those ten they then had 2 or 3 kids whom make up my roster of first cousins. I almost got cought up with all of their names when they started having kids. Now I feel like Ilm at a jewish mixer trying to fake my way in a conversation with some one who appears to know who I am.

MANDITORY READING OF THE DAY:

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/20/magazine/20wwln-lede-t.html?em&ex=1208923200&en=76d14e551d4461fb&ei=5087


Michael Pollan's article in the Green issue of the New York Times Sunday Magazine.

NOTE TO SELF OF THE DAY:

Write an elegy for the long saved, inadvertently erased voicemail messages.
And a blurb about Denis Johnson's "Tree of Smoke."
And maybe also about "My kid could Paint That" and/or "In Bruges."
And set up the damn computer you bought six months ago.
And, wait...there was some other thing. Oh yeah. Figure out what you want to do with your life.

MEDITATION ON TIME AND LOSS OF THE DAY:

Strange to have played a leading role in what will have turned out to have been her pre-history--the time not recorded in the official record--the story before the story of her life began.

RANDOM SINGLE SENTENCE PORTRAIT OF THE DAY:

He could use some Flomax cause he got no flow.

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