GOP's Blessed Event

Whoopee, get out the buckets! We goin’ to sling some mudddd! It’s payback time on Republicans. Remember the Clinton impeachment over a blow-job and all the vile dirty tricks they have been playing on Democrats for years, calling us cowards, traitors, commies and every other name in the book? We had to endure it in silence because we didn’t have no nice internet to talk back with.

Remember them stifling any opposition to the Vietnam and Iraq wars using totalitarian smear tactics, police provocateurs, drug laws, beatings, harassment, using the IRS as a political tool to audit Democrats? Remember the Republicans using the Justice Department as a weapon to go after anybody they felt like? Using half-educated stooges as TV announcers to smear anybody who talked back to them?

Well, it’s payback time, folks. Now the Republicans are the ones on their backs, and I should like to be the first to kick them while they’re down. Hand me over my football cleats, daughter!

Let me start by saying this: I feel that the White House would make an excellent home for unwed mothers. In fact, the west wing could be an unwed mothers home and the east wing would make a marvelous geriatric nursing home for senile bogus war heroes whom, I should add, never lost their marbles because they never had any marbles to lose.

Republicans are flesh-eating ghouls and zombies straight from Satan's butt.  It's horrible that these monsters should be permitted to rutting like barnyard animals right in the White House rose garden, and then insisting on bringing the little misbegotten freaks into the world to curse us with yet another generation of misshapen Republican monsters from hell.  They must be stopped before they drag us down with them.


Republicans point out that these things happen in every family.  Not so. Democrats have the good taste to patronize hookers, thereby preventing beautiful girls from having to get jobs, like an entitlement program which also happens to help guys get laid.  Republicans do it with their own sisters and cousins (sometimes they have sex with their mothers too), and then the children come out retarded and crazy, and vote Republican.

Now it turns out the Sara Palin’s daughter was knocked up by Rep. Vito Fossella, who can’t keep the pepperoni in his pants under any circumstances. He should get a fine job in a McCain presidency – how about Secretary for Overreaching Underachievers.

And while we’re at it, let’s not forget that old conservative stand-by (standing by the urinal), Senator Larry Craig. I nominate him for Undersecretary for Latrine Hygiene. He ain’t gay! Nah, he just likes a little Hebrew National salami with his eggs. He could go around the country and give soft shoe demonstrations at Republican fund-raisers held in airport toilets.

Oh, it’s going to be a mah-velous political campaign now that
we got internet technology. I certainly intend to do my part!

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