Hillary Clinton's Concession Speech

I want to thank all the people who voted for me. You did the right thing.

I could beat McCain hands down. He’s a paper tiger. He has to run on Bush’s record, and with the stinking economy and $5.00 gas, he’s a sitting duck.

Unfortunately for me and my supporters, the Democratic Party sees it that way also. They figure they can put up their dream candidate, Barack Obama, who would never stand a chance against a strong Republican Party, and he’ll still win.

Look at it this way: after eight years of Bush, the whole world is wondering if we still got what it takes. For a woman or a black person to get in, after all the problems that we got, will send a clear message to the rest of the world that American people have got what it takes, in spades.

Now a lot of people are comparing Barack Obama’s record with mine.  They say, OK, Barack Obama has never done spit, but neither has Hillary.

Oh yeah, I never did nothing! We won’t even talk about my activist life as a kid. I held Bill Clinton up for ten years as governor of Arkansas, where the governor is up for reelection every two years, and where Bill got thrown out for raising license plate fees by a couple of bucks.

Every day sweating it out if he was going to hold on, because, believe me, electoral politics is a crap shoot. There’s no big market for ex-Arkansas governors. Running for politics, you got about as much chance as a kid who goes to Hollywood to be a star.

Then we had to fight to get him in the White House, and then fight to keep him in there, even when the vast right-wing conspiracy was trying to get us impeached and even indicted!

And they I went ahead and got elected on my own. And not just in some cheesy, backwater cowtown. I went for the BIGGIE, New York, where if you can make it there you can make it anywhere!

Then I ran for president and I won every single important state except Illinois, and I should have won that too!

So don’t tell me I don’t have a record! Bill Clinton has the dick, but I have got the balls. And why we’re on the subject of balls, don’t break mine about stoopid sniper fire in Bosnia. You think I remember every little thing, with all the stuff I’ve been into? I remember they told us to sit on top of our flack jackets while we were in the helicopter so that we wouldn’t end up getting an M-80 up the kazoo. That’s what I remember, OK? Geez!

But let’s get back to Barack Obama. We’re going to do everything we can to get him elected. The black electorate has always been good Democrats, and they are presenting us a very good guy, and America to a certain extent owes it to them to let them exert their political influence.

This Obama is a freak job from outer space, and his supporters are all nut cases. As usual, our country is not capable of playing it straight under any set of circumstances. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. We’ve survived freaks and nut jobs before. It’s possible that an Obama presidency would actually increase our stature overseas. Look at the interest this election has stimulated in every country all over the world.  The people in all those other countries are more wrapped up in our politics than we are. They care more about our politics than they do about their own country. Let me ask you this: how many of you out there know who is the president of Canada or Mexico? Nobody, right? But they all know who we are, and that’s what makes us so fantastic as a people – even when we fuck up, the rest of the world still can’t get enough of us.

And we’re not running out of oddball nuts to put up anytime soon. Soon Chelsea will be old enough to run for office, and after her maybe we’ll put up our dog, Buddy.

But in the meantime, let’s all get behind our brother Barack Obama. Nobody in Chicago has anything but good things to say about him, and that’s good enough for me.

Hillary Clinton Panders To Anti-(space)Alien Extremists!
click here:
http://www.200motels.net/hil.html

GIULIANI'S PANTIES! click here:
http://www.200motels.net/RUDY.html

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Posted on 6/7/2008 ( Permanent Link )
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